Sunny Days Through Lavender Eyes
by December Dragons
Summary: The title my seem like this is a Naruto soap, but this is my first shot at comedy/romance! Anywho, the crazy Naruto kids are in a modern day high school and with main heroine Hyuga Hinata tries to get the courage to confess her love to Naruto.
1. The Sky Sure Is Blue

_**Author's Note: **_**Well, this is my first shot at the comedic romance stories. Special thanks to Nikki The Hyuga Chick for inspiring me with her stories! You deserve a cookie from the Evil Vault, no subscription required. Please review;)**

_The sky sure is blue..._ I thought, looking at the window. My class is taking a test and, as usual, I finished before most everyone. I generally pass the time by twirling my blue hair and staring at a certain blond boy two rows to my right. He, on the other hand, generally grimaces at his test like it insulted him. Oh god, I love those looks. Along with him scratching his right ear with his pencil. Come on, the test isn't that hard! I silently cheered. That's all I ever do, actually. Silently cheer.

"Ok, time is up," the grey-haired teacher said, erasing the questions on the blackboard. "Please pass your tests to the person in front of you." That's my teacher, Kakashi Hatake. I've been in his class for a few months now, and there's one thing I've never figured out: How can he keep his hair gravity-defiant? Gel? Well, his hair isn't glossy.... The mystery continues unsolved.

"Ms. Hinata...!" Kakashi-sensei called me out of my deep daydreaming.

"What?!" Something in my mind triggered me to stand up and my legs somehow interlocked with the legs of my chair, sending me to a painful kiss to the floor. The class just laughed at yet another graceful move by Hinata the Magnificent.

My teacher just rolled his eyes. "If you don't pay attention, you're practically asking me to give you detention, again."

"Sorry." Not again, my kicked myself. Naruto is cute, but you're here to learn! Now, with renewed resolve, I tried to listen carefully to Kakashi-sensei.

Kakashi looked at the clock. "Well, it's almost time to go. However, you need homework." The entire class huffed; Naruto almost had a heart attack, again. Well, it wasn't a heart attack, really. But he complained his left arm was tingly. He isn't unhealthy or anything. I've seen his abs at the pool. Focus, Hinata! Bad girl! "This weekend is a five-day holiday, so I'm reluctant to give you work. You see my predicament here?" Naruto's eyes filled with hope. "Aw, hell. No homework."

"Yahoo!" my exuberant friend, Kiba, cried, jumping out of his seat. I looked at the other students. Only Shikamaru, for some odd reason, just didn't give a damn.

**~xXx~**

So, after wrestling my way through a jubilant crowd heading downstream through the pearly gates of freedom (the front exit, kiddies), I came out to the school yard. Okay, breathe in, breathe out. Now's the time you'll finally ask Naruto out. I straightened out my school uniform, which by the way I absolutely love. It's a baby blue-and-white sailor uniform for girls. I know it's kind of kinky, but I think it's cute. Besides, I need to look my best. I suddenly caught sight of my prey. Aw, there he is.

Okay, this is it. I started making a beeline toward him when I suddenly had a vice grip around my throat, pulling me backwards. I only realized that Sakura, one of my inner circle of friends, had pulled me toward our said group. "Good thing you're here," she cheerily said while I was recovering from asphyxiation. "You need to come with us to the mall. Tenten will be on her first date with Neji and we need to pick a cute outfit."

"It's not a big deal!" Tenten objected, but in vain. I don't know why I started hanging out with her. Maybe it's because she does better at gym class than me? Maybe.... Anywho, Tenten just pouted. "Besides, I don't think Hinata cares what her cousin does, do you?"  
I hate it when they do this! When two of my friends have two opposing sides, they always drag me into it. But when I argue with one of them, they don't give that much of a damn. Curse you, sheer irony! Curse you all to heck! "N-no, I don't," I stuttered (oh, by the way, I stutter when I'm nervous).

"See? Leave me alone!" Tenten tried to get Sakura off her back. "It's just me and him."

"It's never that simple, honey," Sakura's henchgirl, Ino, said. "You need the right makeup, dress, shoes, jewelry....You need to knock him dead with your looks."

I actually pictured Neji dropping dead at the sight of Tenten in a really nice dress. I smiled inside. Heh heh heh. Actually I don't hate my cousin, but he used to treat me with contempt until Naruto saw him hit me. Well, let's just say Neji treats me fine now:)

"Well, if you can catch me I'll go." And with that she dashed off towards freedom.

"Oh, well," I resolved. Then I remembered what I was wanted to do. I looked around but to no avail. Naruto was long gone. "Damn it!" Maybe next time. Wait, I've been saying that for years, when will it happen?! Everytime my Naruto-senses start tingling, I get sidetracked. Why does God hate me so? "Well, I need to get home. Catch you later."

Well, that's how most days are for me. I know it sucked, but hey you roll with what life gives you. Oh, make a mental note to choke Sakura back. People don't know me for my evil side. Okay, I don't have one, but if I did, I'd choke everyone, including myself. No, Hinata! Not the psycho bitch routine again. It took you two years of therapy to get over that.

"Hinata! Are you writing in your diary in the bathroom again? I have to pee!" Oh, that's my younger sister, Hanabi. Why write in the bathroom you ask? I don't know. I just think better on the toilet for some reason. Anyhow, cheer for me!

_**Author's Note:**_** Again, please review. Constructive criticism is welcome, but no flaming! Bad, flamers! Bad! You DON'T deserve a cookie!**


	2. Once Upon A Fateful Tuesday

_**Author's Note**_**: Well, thanks for the reviews, everyone. Sorry that you had a hard time reading it. I fixed that. Anywho, hope this chapter is good:)**

**~xXx~**

"Hinata," a dreamy blond said, his eyes gazing right at mine, "I love you."

"I love you too" was all I could say. Then our lips inched closer and closer. _Thank you, Kami!_

**Beep! Beep!! Beep!!! BEEP!!!!**

"What?!" I cried, flying out of bed. The bed was sad to see me go so it hugged me with its blanket arms which only made things better as I tried to turn the alarm clock off. Some piss-ass gremlin must've been moving my stuff because it was three-inches to the left of where it usually was on my nightstand. Right as I grabbed it the blanket yanked on my leg and I gave my floor a big wet, sopping, bloody kiss. After I slaughtered the blanket monster I discovered that I had accidentally smashed another (yes, ANOTHER. This is a reoccurring theme for me, obviously) alarm clock. "I'm sorry," I said, consoling my dead clock in an embrace. Kami must hate me!

After going through changing into my school uniform (which I still love, thank you very much ) and breakfast without incident I made it to my school locker. I looked at the class schedule on the inside of my locker and instantly grimaced. Tuesday. Damn. If it wasn't for the teacher Tuesdays wouldn't be nearly as bad. For those of you who can't currently read the school schedule (except for the clinically insane…you can see anything, like Elvis in my—I mean, your refrigerator…) Tuesday we have science class. You will see my dismay.

When I got to the dreaded classroom, I sat right next to my science partner, Kiba. "What's up, Kiba?"

"Nothing much," he said, sounding very bored. "Why can't we get a more normal teacher? This one gives me the creeps."

I look on the table. Hmm…scalpel and a tray….Don't tell me…!

"Good morning, students," walked in our gulp teacher. "You may be wondering what we're doing today," he hissed (yes, HISSED!). "Today, we're dissecting frogs…."

Some of the female students cringed while most of the guys were either indifferent or excited.

"Orochimaru-sensei," Sakura piped up, raising her hand. (You all may be wondering why Orochimaru's our science teacher. I don't know either, but he must've killed to get this job or something….) "Do we have to?"

"Yes, or you fail," He opened a few coolers. "Now I need some help. Sasuke, Naruto, Kiba, if you please." After a few moments of putting frogs on everyone's desks and cringing students, it was time to cut up the frogs.

"Okay, you make a vertical cut down the center of the frog'sss ssstomach," Orochimaru instructed, adding snake-like emphasis on the s's. "Okay, pin the flaps of tissue to their—" He was interrupted by none other than Jiraiya, part-time gym teacher and sex-ed teacher.

"Hey, Orochimaru, you haven't by any chance have seen…" he trailed off when he looked at what the students were butchering, "MY FROGS?!?! What have you done to my precious babies?!"

"Oh, these are yours?" Orochimaru slyly teased. "I had no idea…."

"BULLSHIT!" the white-haired toad guru shouted. "You knew I've been breeding these frogs for my research in the ladies' locker rooms!" Wait, research where?! He then flung an accusing finger towards Naruto, "How come you haven't stopped him sooner? I thought we were a team!"

"I helped you breed frogs," Naruto objected to this wave of accusation, "NOT helping you in your peeping schemes, ero-sennin!"

Jiraiya then turned to leave, "Don't think I'll ever forget this, Orochimaru!" By this time Orochimaru was so not amused he just shrugged. "Oh, and Naruto, you get double chores at my frog nursery!"

"Aw, MAN!!!" Naruto moaned, not looking forward to working harder than he ever wanted to.

After the dust settled from Jiraiya's rant, there was a unsettling silence until Tenten said, "Then…that explains the frog I saw last week in the locker room…." The girls became more alarmed while the guys, particularly Neji, looked more intrigued. "It looked at me, seemed like it was…pissed off, and then hopped away…." She then tornadoed out of the classroom, bawling a lake all over the floor.

Orochimaru, for once, seemed more surprised than amused by all this hysterics. "Okay, class, for homework read chapters 3-5 in biology." He walked toward the chalkboard and hissed, "Next week, we'll finish dissecting the frogs."

"You stole and that I'm paying for," the ramen-lover interjected, still not happy about being punished for something he had no control over.

"By the way," Orochimaru stated matter-of-factly, "thank Naruto for his tremendous sacrifice." Clapping, he continued his jeering. "Bravo!" Some other students thought that that was funny, but I felt bad for him. Naruto tries and tries to be accepted, but everyone pushes him aside. I hope that I can someday change his luck….

I would've continued that thought when the lunch bell rang. "What!?" I don't know why I keep kissing the floor whenever I dream. Maybe we're destined to be together, but I like Naruto! Wait! Focus, Hinata! You can never marry the floor!

**~xXx~**

After constructing lunch, I sat next to my lunch buddies, Shino and Kiba. I sat next to Shino and asked, "Where's Kiba-kun?"

"He said something about going to the bathroom," his buggyness tranquilly answered. "He should be back."

After a few minutes of eating, I decided to bring up what we typically discuss at lunchtime—personal time after school. "So, what are you doing this coming holiday, Shino-kun?" I asked, sipping at my green tea (OMG! Green tea! I can write an ode heralding your enduring taste and nutrition!).

"Well," he said, pushing his glasses further up his nose (crap! Wrote that wrong! Oh well…) "I'll be helping my family with the opening of the insect exhibit in the zoo." He took a slurp of juice. "And you?"

"I—" I would've continued about my plans about procuring a possible date but more than likely hung out with Sakura, Ino, and Tenten, but I was distracted by the appearance of a sopping wet Kiba. He just casually sat across from us, absolutely covered in Kami-knows-what.

Shino cleared his throat, hoping Kiba would offer some sort of explanation. Kiba just looked up while he took a big ol' bite of sloppy joe. "I'm sorry. I would've been here sooner but the line was long."

"There is never a line," the bug-boy said, not believing this. "That still doesn't explain—"

"Ooh, jell-o!" And with that Kiba zoomed over to the dessert area of the cafeteria.

Shino and I just sat there, taking all of this in. "I never realized that Kiba smells like dog when he's wet…" was all I could muster about the situation. Emo Bug McCoy just nodded, still getting used to the unnerving silence between us and everyone who witnessed the craziness we call Kiba. We just finished our meals and watched the lunch lady bat Kiba away from the cookies with a spatula.

**~xXx~**

The rest of the school day was relatively uneventful. After walking Tenten home from the nurse's office from shock, Sakura, Ino, and I decided to go to the nearest Friendly's (I don't care if there is no Friendly's in Konoha! It's my story and I like their ice cream!). We just bullshitted while enjoying our ice creams. Sakura got black cherry, Ino got chocolate, and I got pure, unadulterated vanilla. Yet another food that I could write a myriad of haiku about, but I digress. Sakura just had to pull me out of my vanilla bliss. "Look over there," she said, pointing north (I don't know what direction she was pointing, okay?!). Sasuke and my one and only love were across the street in front of a book store.

They appeared to be having one of their usual disputes, which can be heard even by you. "You idiot, how can you lose the car again?!"

"It's not my fault, you bastard!" Naruto shot back. "It's not my fault that Hyundai is a favorite car brand around here!"

"Isn't Sasuke the absolutely hottest?" Sakura drooled all over her ice cream, long forgotten by the eye candy before her.

I just ignored her drooling ass. There were better things to look at, like Naruto. Okay, this is your chance! Just walk across the street and ask Naruto for something small, like going to the mall, having lunch or dinner, or marriage—whoa! Too much too soon!

Ino must've followed my gaze. "You can do it, Hinata," she cheered. "Sakura and I believe in you." She looked over at Sakura, agitated by the pure fact that Sakura wasn't paying ANY attention to the laws of the real world. "Right, Sakura?" She violently elbowed Sakura.

"Ow!" She cried. After giving Ino a death glare, she rubbed my back reassuringly. "Go get him, tiger!"

"Okay," I said, working on my breathing technique. "I can do this!" I knew I would regret crossing the road while not looking, which a red Hyundai quickly reminded me. After miraculously crossing the road I met my goal.

"Hinata, are you okay?" Naruto said, sounding concerned. Sasuke stopped being pissed off at the world in general with new interest.

I looked at his beautiful blue eyes and…I froze. Come on, Hinata! Just spit it out: "Naruto, let's go out." It's not that hard! Blood rushed to my face and I just swooned yet again to the captivating handsomeness before me. Then the darkness enveloped me….

**~xXx~**

_**Author's Note**_**: Sorry for the wait, everyone! Hope you liked this! Please review and favorite. Remember: those who do get cookies from Death-sama himself.**


	3. A Secret Is Leaked

_**Author's Note: **_**Thanks for all the support! Sorry that it took 3+ months for me to write another chapter. No excuses! Get a cookie from the Dark-Side Vault on me:)**

**~xXx~**

_Where am I? Last thing I remember I was trying to talk to Naruto and then nothing._

"Hinata, you dead?"

_No, Kiba! I'm not dead! But while I'm comatose I can ignore you. Another New Year resolution fulfilled._

"_Kiba, what are you doing with that bucket?"_

_What?!_ But it was too late. I was baptized with a bucket of ice (very strong emphasis on _**ice**_) cold water. "Eeeeek!" Kiba just laughed like the monkey that he is. Shino just shook his head. "I'm going to KILL you!" I tried to lunge at the bastard but was immediately overcome with dizziness. It kinda felt like I had a hangover, even though I can attest I never had one and most normal people would believe me. "What happened?"

"You tried talking to Naruto and fainted," Shino said. "Or at least that's what we were told."

"Sounds about right." I was trying to relieve my head by rubbing on it like it was Buddha's belly. "When can I leave?"

Oh, by the way, if you hadn't already guessed, I'm in the Konoha Memorial Hospital. If I had one of my famous vertigo spells during school I'd be in the nurse's office, where Nurse Shizune would help me. I like her. Better than the other nurse, Kabuto. He creeps me out! Where was I? Oh yeah, the hospital. Well, the door opened up revealing the talented Dr. Tsunade. "Well, there seems to be nothing wrong with you. We'll probably keep you for a few more hours just to make sure you're ok before we send you out. But you need to avoid whatever it is that made you faint."

"That's going to be tough," I swore Shino said under his breath.

I was expecting some wise-crack remark from Kiba, but lo and behold guess where his eyes were? Gawking upon the good doctor's goods (i.e. breasts, for those of you that . I wanted to send him flying but Author-sama said his time will soon come so I must be patient. Don't fuck with the powers that be.

After checking my vitals and whatever doctors do Tsunade politely left the room. I like Dr. Tsunade. She'd been my doctor since literally birth. Since my mother died soon after having Hanabi she had been like a mother to me. So she has my utmost respect. I tend to call her "Tsunade-sama" but that usually irks her, but not as much as Naruto calling her "Tsunade-baachan." Last time he called her that I heard she threatened to force-feed him exlax. I'm rambling again! Damnit! That's another New Year's resolution broken to a million pieces.

"Like staring at boobs, huh Kiba?" I asked.

"So? I can do that. I'm a guy," Kiba defended himself.

"Yeah, I noticed," I said. "Like the time you suckered me into a wet T-shirt contest."

"I said sorry."

"I was twelve! That will scar me for life!"

"It might have scarred you, but you like to bring it up every blue moon."

"You bet I will!"

"What will you do after you're cleared?" Shino said, quickly changing the topic. He hates it when Kiba and I argue about that _incident_ because he unwittingly helped him with it. I guess he's never forgiven himself.

"Well, I'll just take it easy until school." I glared at Kiba. "Be afraid."

"Why?" he hesitantly asked.

"No reason," I said, turning on the TV.

~**xXx**~

_On Monday…._

"Ok, let's get this over with," Kakashi-sensei said, getting the roll call that I swear he never reads because the order he calls us in changes. "Naruto."

"Here!" He blared. Most people find his voice annoying as hell but if his voice was alcohol I would get drunk off it (again with the alcohol references!).

"Shikamaru."

"Zzzz…." Was his only reply. As usual Shikamaru was in lala land, dreaming about clouds or strategic whatever-the-hells.

"I'll take it as a 'here.' And if he doesn't wake up he'll be getting detention."

"I'm up!" He sleepily attested. "How troublesome!" he cursed under his breath.

"Sakura."

Silence.

"Haruno Sakura."

"Present!" Sakura said, bustling to her seat.

"Three more seconds and you would've joined Shikamaru in detention."

"I'm awake, aren't I?" he said with one eye opened. "How—"

"Troublesome, ya ya," Kakashi-sensei finished, inviting a chuckle through the classroom.

_After school…._

"I have to go," Sakura said.

"But I thought we were going to the mall," Ino objected.

"I have something else I need to take care of," the cotton candy-head said, waving. "I'll make it up to you. Promise!"

When Sakura left their sight, Ino, Hinata, and Tenten became scheming. "Where do you think she's going?" Ino stated the obvious question.

"Let's just cut to the chase and just spy on her," Tenten said. "We're gonna do it eventually."

"I know who the perfect spy is," Ino said with a sly smirk.

"You want me to spy on Sakura?" Sai asked, getting his art supplies from his locker for his after-school art club.

"We just want to know where she's going," Ino said, acting like this was an innocent favor.

"You just want to know where she's going," I bluntly point out, but Ino slapped it away with a flyswatter.

"Well, I have art class now with Sasori and Deidara-sensei," Sai said, "but I can tomorrow morning."

"Perfect!" Ino said, giving Sai a peck on the cheek.

Their lovey-dovey scene was interrupted by an explosion a few doors down the hall, followed by the some cursing.

"Deidara! You fucking moron! You blew it up!"

"It's art! It's supposed to blow up, un!"

"How many times—"

"Ow!"

"—do I have to tell you—"

"Ow! Ow!!"

"—art is supposed to be eternal!"

"OW!!!!"

Sai and the female trio went to the art door to see what on God's green earth was going on. Sasori was beating Deidara with a marionette arm over the head. "Sai, please clean up after him!" Sasori said without looking.

_Early the next morning…._

Sakura locked her house door and started walking to school like she always did, or rather that what Sai was going to find out. The pink-head took an unfamiliar turn. _This is unusual,_ Sai thought, for he had walked to school with Ino and the girls on occasion. But this time was different. As he was tailing her far enough behind to as to not lose her he wondered the possibilities. A secret boyfriend? A part-time job? He tried to think of more things but she went into a zoo.

Sakura walked right up to a monkey cage. She was uttering something but Sai couldn't hear. So he inched closer and closer until he began to understand her. "Don't worry, Obaasan. Ojisan (sp? for uncle?) will forget all about the issue if you would just come home. He misses you, Obaasan…."

Sai couldn't believe it! Sakura was talking to a monkey as if it was her obaasan. However, Sai knew that the laws of science wouldn't allow a monkey to _really_ be her relative.

"Well, I have to go," Sakura said, turning to leave. "If I'm late again Kakashi-sensei would give me detention. Aishiteru."

_Later at school…._

Sakura walked into the classroom as if she was black ops infiltrating enemy territory. "Is Kakashi-sensei here?"

"No, not yet," I said. "Get over here before he does!"

She practically sprinted to the seat next to me, which would be Shino's seat. I don't think he'll mind since he's not here:p "Where's Ino?" she asked, quickly looking around.

"Talking to Sai. What's up?"

"Nothing really," Sakura said, sounding disappointed. "Just wanted to talk to her."

Naruto took an eraser from the chalkboard in the front of the class and positioned a chair near the door. He opened it a bit and wedged the eraser on the top part of the door, snickering the whole time.

"Naruto," Sasuke said, looking and sounding less enthused than him (naturally), "what the hell are you doing?"

"It's his fault for being late today!" was all the ramen-eater declared, flying to his seat and trying to look innocent.

Then Kakashi-sensei rolled into the classroom with his grey gravity-defying gelled-up hair and the eraser prompty made a landing onto his head and then the floor. Naruto cackled like a hyena and some of the students just snickered. Kakashi picked up the eraser, looked at it, and hurled it at Naruto.

"What the hell was that for?!" Naruto cried, turning his emotion a complete 180.

"For this prank," Kakashi-sensei said, getting ready the class's work for the day.

"Hurting me is illegal! I'll tell the principal!"

"Well, it's either me chucking it at you or the principal," Kakashi-sensei retorted nonchalantly. "The choice is up to yours." He walked in between his desk and the class's desks with a bunch of papers. "Now, class, you know it's customary for me to announce birthdays...."

_Sweet Jesus....Don't you dare!_

"This Saturday is Hyuga Hinata's birthday. Hinata, your dad told me that he was going to give you invitations...."

"Oh, that!" I said, laughing nervously. "Uh, you see, um...I lost them...yeah, lost them!"

"Oh?" Kakashi-sensei said, faking a "surprised" expression. "Well good thing your dad dropped some off this morning." _That's it! Hatake Kakashi, you're on my hit list! Looks like you won't grow old and retire, you low life!! _"Now, class, it would be nice to go to her birthday party. It's her sixteenth birthday and since she's the heir to the Hyuga Corporation franchise all over this company, it's going to be a real big shindig. Most of the details her father wanted me to keep quiet about, but most of the teachers and I will be going, too." _Well, my life is now over. Goodbye, cruel world! It was nice knowing you. Well, maybe I'll become a forest recluse after I kill __Kakashi-sensei...._

"Well, to bring you all down to earth, and courtesy of Naruto," Kakshi-sensei said, "we'll all be taking a pop quiz." Que in the moaning classroom, with a few jeers at Naruto. "Now, doesn't that sound like fun?"

_At the lunchroom...._

Needless to say, I've been using this time to hide my face in my arms on the table. How could my sensei betray me? Maybe I can confide in Anko-sensei. She may have score to settle with Kakashi-sensei. I can almost taste my revenge. Mhmm, taste like chocolate.

As always Kiba interrupts my plotting. "Oi, Hinata--"

"Yes, we'll have lots of food!" I said annoyed.

"Then I'll definitely come!"

"As long as you're paper-trained. Don't want my dad to catch you peeing on a potted plant like my last birthday...."

"The bathroom was full!" Kiba tried to defend himself. "Whiz at a plant once and you're profiled for life!"

Desperately trying to talk about something else (ANYTING!) I left the company of Kiba and Shino and sat next to Ino and Tenten. "I got Sai's report, Hinata. Wanna hear it?"

"Well--"

"Good!" Then Ino whisptered Sai's earlier findings.

"What?" was all I could muster.

"Well, if you believe Sai, Sakura has a monkey for an aunt," Tenten said. "It's all amusing, but it's just so farfetched."

"What'cha talkin' 'bout?" Sakura said with a tray full of food.

"How you were at the zoo this morning?" Ino blurted out.

"Talking to my aunt," Sakura said, suddenly put on guard. "You know, the one who used to bake fudge every Christmas."

"Oh, I remember now," Ino said matter-of-factly.

"Your aunt lives at the zoo?" Tenten asked.

She was met with blank stares from Sakura and Ino. "No, she works there," Sakura said.

"Wanna have a laugh?" I said. "Sai thought that your aunt was a monkey."

"Well," Sakura said, somewhat confused, "that's amusing, but he should've known better."

"That's what I said!" Tenten said.

"The real question here is," Ino said, switching the conversation to another topic, "will Naruto come to your birthday party?"

I blushed a little. "I-I dunno...." It's amazing how easily they can exploit my weaknesses and work them against me. Not that you'd call liking Naruto a weakness or anything. Right about now I would be doing my trademark finger thing right about, yep, was doing it again!

"Well, he's over there," Sakura said, pointing 6:00. "Ask him if he'll go."

"You know what?" I said with sudden enthusiasm. "I'll do it!"

When I made it toward him before he exited the lunch hall, it surprised him a bit. "W-w-will you go t-to my party?"

"Uh," Naruto gargled, trying to loosen his collar with a finger. "I don't know. It largely hangs on whether or not Ero-Sennin has work typing his smut or feeding his frogs."

"There'll be ramen."

"I'll make sure I come!" Naruto said, shaking my hand. Wait a minute! HE'S SHAKING MY HAND!! This is one of the best times of my life! "Oi, Hinata? Are you okay?" That brought me back onto this earth.

"Huh," I said as if I were high, which, technically speaking, I am under the influence of Naruto. "Oh, I'm fine! Fine! Well, see ya later!" I ran away in semi-embarrassment.

"Okay...." Naruto said, scratching the back of his head.

**~xXx~**

**_Author's Note:_ Hopefully this is good! The ending may be under future revisions, but I like it for now. It may take me a long time to write another chapter since I have college, work, and real life to juggle around. Hope you understand:)**


	4. A Birthday And A Plot

**Author's Note****: Thanks for waiting! Here's an update. I was busy with work and school, plus jotting down ideas for three fanfics. Graduated pharmacy technician school last Monday. So for celebration, everyone gets a cookie from the Vault of Eternal Evilness. Enjoy.**

**~xXx~**

The dreaded day has come. Damn you, Kakashi-sensei! I'll get you and your hair...someday! Why object to my birthday, you, the reader(s), ask? The only thing I truly object is having my birthdays announced in front of class. If I want to invite people to my party (or have a party, for that matter) I would've invited them myself. Maybe it's just me getting another year older that irks the living hell out of me (more so than Kiba's childish antics). Oh, well, I guess it can't be helped.

**Knock! Knock!! Knock!!! **"Nee-sama, are you ready yet? It's almost time" my younger sister, Hanabi (who hates Author-sama for only giving her two short appearances so far) says, banging the door of my room.

_Indeed, the time has come—to die of embarrassment or, if Kiba behaves, actually have a normal party. You can do this, girl! You've managed to ask your father to make this a casual party, not a formal one. Don't want to make the same mistake like before. _(Author-sama will now pause to offer this explanation for the remark: when Hinata-chan was twelve her father was promoted and since she comes from a wealthy family they had a party in his honor. Well, it was a formal party and poor Hinata-chan tripped on her dress and tore it all to hell, revealing some "unmentionables" underneath the skirt to the whole party. Since then she has refused to go to formal occassions [other than funerals and weddings].)

_Well, the readers must be sick of this droll conversation thus far, so I'll go to the party and see what kind of shananigans the guests will get into._ I mustered up the courage and walked downstairs. There were not a whole lot of decorations and so far only Ino, Sai, Sakura, and Tenten came. They were over by the refreshments talking and drinking whatever soda the butler bought (yes, I have my own butler...please don't rub it in!). Sai was eyeing the food.

"Oh, happy birthday, Hinata!" Ino said as soon as she caught sight of me.

"Happy birthday," Sakura and Tenten said when they heard Ino. Sai didn't say anything; his mouth was full of food.

"Enjoying the food there, Sai?" I asked him, poking fun at him. He just gave his thumbs up in enthusiastic approval.

"You'll need a lot more food if Chouji shows up," Ino joked.

"Look, Tenten," Sakura said. "Sesame dumplings." All I saw were a blur. She returned with over half her plate full of said dumplings. "That should make you feel better."

"Still getting over the frog incident in Jiraiya-sensei's class?" I asked.

"Yeah," Tenten said in between bites. "Next time I see a frog where it shouldn't be, off with its legs!" She thrusted a fork up into the air.

"At least you're joking about it," Ino said. "I would've killed Jiraiya-sensei."

"Don't worry, Ino, his time will come soon enough..." Tenten said with an evil glint in her eye.

**Ding-dong! Dingdingdingdingdingding--! **There is only one person who rings the doorbell like that—Kiba.

While I was going to get the door (I rather get the door myself than have my butler do it), Sakura joked, "Twenty bucks says he'll screw something up within the next twenty minutes."

"You're on, billboard brow!" Ino said with a twenty in her hand.

"You're gonna lose, Ino-pig!" Sakura jived.

I opened the door and there was a cracked potted plant in Kiba's hands. Oh, Shino was there, too. "How did you manage to pull that off?"

Kiba tried to explain, but Shino covered his mouth with his hand. "It would be better if you truly did not know."

"Well, okay..." I motioned to the place where the refreshments are. "Help yourselves, guys. Oh, Kiba, don't let my father see that in your hands or he will kill you this time."

"Ha! I win! Cough up the money, Ino-pig!" Sakura rejoiced. Ino reluctantly gave her the twenty.

"What are you betting on?" Kiba said, placing my gift on the table of other gifts.

"On whether or not you'd fuck up during the next twenty minutes," Sakura said, counting her newly acquired wealth. "Thanks for getting me twenty dollars richer, Kiba."

"How could you bet on me? I thought I was your friend!" Kiba sobbed with fake anime tears.

"How? With money, of course!" Sakura slapped him on the nose with her money as if she was slapping a dog with a rolled-up newspaper.

Not too long after that the doorbell rang again. I opened the door to find that _**HE**_ had come. Naruto, Sasuke, and Itachi were there. "Stop being such a baby," Itachi said. "Socializing will be good for you. Can't stay in your room listening to metal all day everyday."

"Tsh," Sasuke muttered, looking very pleased with the situation (note sarcasm).

"Hinata, make sure Sasuke is taken care of," Itachi said, leaving.

_Why me?_ "Sure…."

"Oh, I'll take care of that!" Sakura chirped, carting Sasuke away by his arm. Wait a minute…was that a "save me" look on his face? Can't be. Must be under the influence of Naruto….

"Hey, Naruto," I said, mustering all my strength to not blush furiously, but I could feel that my efforts weren't working all that well.

"Oh, hey Hinata," Naruto said. "How's it going?"

"FOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!"

"Guess Chouji's here," I said with a snicker. Naruto rubbed the back of his head and snickered with the smile of a god. I swore I heard bells...but I digress. A blur zipped past us to the food tables where there were a few audible gasps.

"What a pain," Shikamaru said, walking in yawning as if he just woke up from a nap (which he probably did).

"There's a couch in a backroom if you need it," I offered.

"Thanks," Shikamaru lazily slithered past us.

"Well," I said, trying to strike up a conversation or something, "how's it been?"

"Oh, ero-sannin thinks that someone's stealing his frogs. I keep telling him that not many people with actual lives would steal frogs, but every time I bring that up he gives me what he calls 'the noogie of hell.'" Naruto said. "Oh, won a coupon that gives me fifty percent off my ramen for a week."

I could've listened to Naruto for years, but I had to entertain my guests like a good hostess should do. The rest of the party went without a hitch, other than Kiba's antics. OK, I don't know how the hell he pulled this off, but a half hour before my party was to end Kiba ran downstairs frantically saying to Shino that they had to leave. Then my father chased Kiba out of the house with a rolled up newspaper. Kiba tried to have Shino talk some sense into my father, but he threw him under the bus on that one. We had a good laugh after all that. We had a ramen-eating contest where we all competed for a prize of fifty dollars. Needless to say Naruto won, but we all new that. I secretly gave everyone else twenty dollars from my father's piggy bank (yes, he does have an actual piggy bank! Have your laughs now before he tries to kill us all for knowing the darkest secret of the Hyuuga clan. Well, that and Neji sleeps with a teddy bear. Oops! Said too much!).

I greeted everyone as they trickled out. Sakura, Ino, and Tenten pulled me off to a corner to talk. "Look, here's the deal," Sakura said within inches of my face. "You need to make a move on Naruto. The readers are getting pissed by now."

"W-what readers?" I said. "What are you talking about?"

"Ask Naruto out or something!" Ino filled in. "Lunch, a talk, a stroll in the park, cyber sex…just do something!"

"Well…"

"We'll be rooting for ya!" Tenten said, giving a push towards Naruto's direction. No, that wasn't a push. It was a forceful shove that almost made me trip on my own feet. I don't know about you but I've just about had it with making out with every floor I tread upon. The floor and I just need to keep a platonic relationship between us.

Anywho, I shuffled toward Naruto. "Um, Naruto, I have a question to ask you…"

"And I have an answer for ya," he replied, getting a few snickers from Sakura, Ino, and Tenten.

"Uh, well…ummm…someday…can we have lunch…together at school?" I could feel my face getting redder than a summer tomato.

"Uh," he uttered, giving some thought. "Sure. Why not?"

"Really?"

"You know where to find me. See ya."

_Meanwhile…_

Itachi ducked in an alley of the poorer side of some city. He dropped down a manhole and walked down a defunct sewer system, taking many turns. He went to a room and dropped down to one knee.

"You remember your mission, don't you?" a shadow asked him.

"Yes," Itachi answered.

"Good. Make your final preparations and take Kisame with you." Itachi got up to leave. "Oh, and Itachi, do not fail me." With that Itachi left.

A blue-haired woman walked to the shadow's side. "How much longer?"

"Patience," the shadow answered. "We will make our move once we've gotten the resources necessary for our cause."

_**CLANG! BANG!! POWW!!!**_

"Damn it, Tobi!" the blue-haired woman said.

"Tobi is a good boy!" was the reply from the darkness from whence the sounds came.

The shadows rolled his eyes. "I pray that the wait will be shorter. It relies on Itachi and Kisame, for now."

**~xXx~**

**Author's Note****: What do you think? I'm thinking of adding a serious plot. But if you want the plot to be about comedy and romance, let me know. Hope you enjoyed**


	5. This Space Was Intentionally Left Blank

**Author's Note****: Just a reminder: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters used for this story. It just happens that you need an obscene amount of money to buy an anime character. Oh, well; I'll be saving my pennies until then. Oh by the way, happy new years everyone! Help yourself to a cookie from the evil vault.**

**~xXx~**

_The next morning…._

I had the most peculiar dream last night. I dreamt that my father had joined the Church of Satan. The foreboding feeling of utter wrongness resonated throughout my dream. I just kept thinking that the idea was just wrong. The dream was ended when the alarm clock woke me up and I fell on the floor again.

I went downstairs to the kitchen area, same as always, to get my breakfast. Dad was watching the news as he was drinking his morning joe.

He said, "Be careful going to school this morning. Several little shops were robbed last night"

I didn't pay that much attention to what he just said as I was jamming up my toast. "Okay."

I got all my crap for school together and was surprised to see Neji and Tenten there waiting for me. "What's up, Neji-niisan?"

"Do to the news last night," Neji started, "your father grew worried for your safety so I'll be walking you to school until further notice."

I grimaced. It's just like Dad to worry about things that aren't pertinent to me. "Well, I guess it couldn't be helped…."

The walk to the school was deadly silent. Thank God for Tenten's ingenuity. "What do you think we'll be doing at P.E.?"

Now that was a good question. Our P.E. instructor for the female students, Mitarashi Anko—maybe you know her?—has a knack to be spontaneous and a bit over the top for physical activities. One time she made us run suicides blindfolded (running suicides is to run from one point and back to your starting point, run out a greater distance and back, and then run even a greater distance and back to your starting point, and when I say run I mean sprint with all you've got). Another time she had us play dodge ball with literally one hand tied behind our backs. I think she gets off having a piece of cloth tied to some part of our bodies, but that's just my opinion. "I just pray that she doesn't have us run suicides again."

"At least you don't have Gai as your instructor," Neji grimaced. "If he had things his way we'd be running laps on our hands wearing green gym uniforms." The idea of the boys doing that didn't sit well with either Tenten or me.

When we reached the front gate of our school Lee was there with his super shiny smile and energetic greetings. "Neji, let us dazzle our comrades with the flame of youth!"

"I wonder if it's too late to call in sick…" Neji murmured under his breath.

"At least P.E. doesn't start until some time after lunch," Tenten tried to console Neji. "You can always come down with a _sudden_ case of food poisoning." She gave him a wink.

"Maybe I will," Neji said, giving Tenten a little wink in return.

**~xXx~**

"Hello," Kakashi-sensei said, rolling into class a few minutes late. "You see, while I was walking down the hall a little old lady needed some help—"

"LIAR!" some of the students jeered at him. I don't really know if Kakashi-sensei was really ever serious about his excuses for being late or if he just wanted to put a funny spin on things.

Well, class was the same old boring self, as you all probably know. Next was lunch.

"N-Naruto-kun?" I said nervously in the cafeteria. I'm still nervous at the smexy sight of him. Yes, I said smexy!

"Oi, Hinata," Naruto said, getting ramen in his bowl from Ichiraku Teuchi. "Thanks, Ichiraku-san."

"Don't worry about it," Teuchi said with a smile. He and Naruto get reasonably well together since Naruto is a fan of his ramen.

"I thought I heard a familiar voice," Ayame, Teuchi's daughter, said coming from the back of the cafeteria. "How are you?"

"Good, Ayame-chan," Naruto said.

"If you see Kakashi-san, tell him thanks for helping me this morning," Ayame said.

"Oh, so that's what he meant," Naruto mused loudly. "He said that he was caught up with helping an old lady this morning."

"Old lady, huh?" Ayame said, sounding a tad peeved. "Well, I guess he's not eating today...."

After Naruto got his fifty some-odd pounds of ramen, we both got a seat. Finally, eating lunch with Naruto! Nothing could possibly go wrong now!

"Hey, Hinata!" Ino said, seating herself across from us with Sai.

Or so I thought. Damn it! Which deity did I piss off this time? Is it the cat god who's writing this shtick? [_**Author's Note**_: Read "He Is My Master" in order to get the joke in more detail. The author and artists of the series are represented as an alligator god, dog god, and hamster god. I wanted to be a god too, so I made myself a cat god.]

"We're not _interrupting_ anything, are we?" Ino said, trying to be slick about this.

"Oi, Ino, Sai," Naruto greeted them, oblivious to everything, as usual.

_Why are you doing this? _I tried sending Ino my thoughts via telekinesis. _I'm trying to be with Naruto right now. Please leave._

_And I wanted to know what is going to happen,_ Ino sent back. _Don't worry. You can still fawn all over him. _I grimaced at her. She just smiled back and tried to act all nonchalantly about it. I see through your façade!

_Please leave me out of this, if possible. _ Sai's brainwaves weren't that hard to read, especially if most of the message is written on his face.

"So, Naruto-kun," I started. "What are you going to do after school?"

"Help ero-sennin with his frogs, do my homework, do some chores," Naruto replied in between bites of his ramen. "Usual stuff."

I could sense Ino just smirking at me. This is going to be a long lunch period….

**~xXx~**

Naruto-kun and I didn't talk that much. I would've talked more with him but Ino was sitting with us grinning. Damn you, Ino! You're now on my list. Ha!

Anywho, after lunch is gym. Why strenuous physical activity right after eating? I don't know. Gai-sensei and Anko-sensei, the gym teachers for the boys and girls respectively, requested that. They're a few fries short of a happy meal, but at least we're never bored with them. Dang it, the bell! Gotta get there now or I'll be running laps around the building with a rucksack filled with chemistry books!

**~xXx~**

I came to the baseball field where we have our gym sessions when it isn't raining. Ino and Sakura were already there. "Oi, Hinata-chan!" Sakura said, waving me over to her position."How was lunch with Naruto?"

"Ino stormed in on us and ruined everything," I said, showing my fuming face to her. She just looked back at me and snickered. "Is Anko-sensei here yet?"

"No, not yet," Ino said, after stifling her snickering. "Do you think that she'll sneak up on us again?"

"I hope not," Sakura said. "She gives me the heebie-jeebies, sneaking up on us."

That much is true. She generally likes sneaking up to ANYBODY and scaring the shit out of them. You can't believe how many times she almost got a restraining order brought against her. It has gotten to the point that Naruto, her favorite victim, puts his dukes up whenever she sneaks up on him. She just obliges with a headlock and laughs as he's struggling. Seeing that is like seeing a football colliding with someone's nuts—you want to look away and do something, but watching is just friggin' hilarious. One time she—

"What's up?" I heard right next to my ear, followed by a wet willie.

"SWEET HARUHI!!!" I shrieked. Everyone around me laughed. I turned around to see the face of a grinning Anko. "Sensei!" I said, getting all pouty and red-faced. Sakura and Ino were struggling to stand, considering they were laughing themselves to death.

"Don't stare off into space and I won't be tempted anymore," she snickered. She looked around at all the faces. "Looks like everyone's here, with the exception of Tenten. She came down with the cramps, I guess."

I rolled my eyes. She's probably with nii-san somewhere giving each other hickeys or something. I kept that to myself. Maybe, if he actually gets a hickey, I could blackmail him or something. Whenever he gets a hickey he wants to borrow my makeup. That shit's expensive! I could always blackmail him for money. Oops, another Hyuga secret leaked. Please don't tell on me! I'll give you cookies!

"Guess what we're doing for gym, peoples?" Anko teased.

"Something normal for once?" Sakura joked.

"Wrong, pinkie!" Anko whipped her pointer finger at Sakura. "That would be too boring! Suicides all the way to the cafeteria backwards!" There was an audible moan from everyone. "If you'd prefer I can always bring out the blindfolds. Now, if there are no more objections, let's go!"

**~xXx~**

The last bell of the day resonated much relief to the weary and tired students. "Thank Haruhi that this is no over!" I relaxed as I'm getting my things to leave.

"There's next week we have to worry about," Sakura reminded me. Damn it!

"My short sweet life is over!" I cried, lightly banging my head against the locker.

"That may not necessarily be the case," Ino said, pointing down the hall toward my right. "There's Naruto now. What you do is pretty simple—just take him to a back alley somewhere and throw his hands on your boobs. You'll ravish each other and it'll be all his fault." She gave me a devilish grin.

"I couldn't possibly do that!" I scowled with a bruised forehead, which only made Ino snicker harder.

"Okay, it looks like I'll have to take the initiative then," Sakura offered, walking toward Naruto.

_What is she doing? _ I watched her quizzically. _Okay, it looks like she's exchanging some pleasantries…She's got him by the collar! Now she's talking civilly to him. Look like she's handing him a five spot. He's refusing it and she's coming back. What in the world did she tell him?_

"What in the world did you tell him?" I asked Sakura as soon as she came back.

"Well," Sakura started, "I tried sweet talking to him; that didn't work. I tried threatening him; that too didn't work. And last but not least I tried bribing; that didn't work either."

"Tried to do what?" I asked.

"Poor virgin Hinata," Ino jeered. I jabbed her in the shoulder. "You plus Naruto equals a date. She was trying to help you. I still think you should still help him 'molest' you."

"Ready to go?" Sai came in, heralding my salvation from Ino's persecution. Ino immediately stopped and rushed to Sai's side, holding his hand.

"Hold it right there!" A voice boomed down the hall. It was Anko, unfortunately. "No. P.D.A.! If I can't get laid neither can you!"

"We're just holding hands," Ino muttered under her breath, releasing Sai's grasp. My Inner Hinata secretly laughed inside.

"Aha!" Anko shrieked, spotting Naruto walking down the hall. "The predator has spotted her prey! Now to move in for the kill!" Then she gave chase. As soon as Naruto spotted her, he booked for the school exit. "A predator thrives on the chase of her prey!"

"For the love of Haruhi, leave me alone!" Naruto begged as he tried to break the sound barrier.

"Why does she have an affinity for Naruto?" Sakura asked aloud. Ino, Sai, and I just shrugged.

**~xXx~**

I arrived home about ten minutes later than usual. "Sorry, father," I said as I bustled through the entrance of the house. "I was hanging out with my friends and lost track of—"

"Hey, Hinata," Tenten greeted me. "Your father is away on business for a few days. He wanted to tell you but you know how his work is."

"Hey, Tenten. What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Can't I just visit you somewhere else other than school?" I shot her a look of disbelief. "Okay, okay. Neji and I skipped out on P.E. here. Sue me."

_I knew it! _"Where is nii-san now?"

"Somewhere; you know how he is."

"Hanabi, have you done your homework?" I asked her. Hanabi was doing what she usually does at home—watching television. Father wants her to get a hobby, but I guess she hasn't found anything that suited her fancy.

"I finished it at school," she replied, sounding a bit annoyed. She didn't even look away from the TV.

"Can you keep a good eye on her?" I whispered to Tenten.

"Why?" she replied.

"Well, for the past couple of weeks she's been ranting to herself about someone named 'Author-sama' and a cat god." Tenten's eyebrows furrowed in mild confusion. "I may need your help in making her take her seroquel."

"There is more than one way to skin a cat god." Hanabi was mumbling to herself again. Hopefully this is just some phase that will soon pass.

"Hey, Hinata, if you chip in some money maybe Neji can bring us some pizza." Tenten wheedled.

_That sounds like a good idea. Question: how many do we order?_

**~xXx~**

**Author's Note****:** **Hope you've enjoyed the story so far. I'm busy with real life so it may take a while for me to put up another story. Just keep up on the reviews, okay? See y'all later!**


	6. Kiba's Detective Agency, Etc

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: JUST ONE WORD: ITADEKIMASU!!!**

**Ding, dong! Ding, dong!**

"I'll get it!" I shouted as I descended down the stairs. I opened the door to find Kiba in a very peculiar costume—a Sherlock Holmes-like getup. "Eh…hey, Kiba…what's up?"

"That's Sherlock Kiba to you!" he interjected, pointing the end of a pipe at me. "Watson and I are looking for the culprits who stole from the stores in the dead of night! You know about the recent burglary spree, right?"

"Stop referring to me as Watson," Shino, who was standing next to Kiba, said.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, further intrigued by him telling me all this. "I thought Holmes didn't have a female companion with him. Have fun and try not to get arrested, Kiba."

"But alas, you are needed," said Kiba. "We need your sex appeal to sway the men we ask to answer our questions. The same thing could probably work on some of the women we ask, too."

A vein popped up on my forehead; but I decide to let Kiba have his fun for now before he pushes the button of his destruction. "Give me a few moments to get some things situated."

"Morning, Hinata," Tenten said, as she passed by me towards the door.

"Morning, Ten-chan," I returned.

"What the hell?" Tenten said, looking at Kiba's new costume.

"Just accept it and move on, Ten-chan," I advised her. "Just accept it and move on."

**~xXx~**

**Ding, dong! Ding, dong!**

"Did you come alone?" Hanabi asked, cracking the front door enough for her to peer out of.

"Uh, yeah," Konohamaru, one of Hanabi's classmates, said. "But why am I here? You didn't give me a reason."

"We are to find the cat god Author-sama," Hanabi whispered.

"You worry me," said Konohamaru.

"He must pay for not allowing me much time in this story!" Hanabi declared.

She grabbed Konohamaru by the arm and started walking out to town. "I didn't say I would go!" Konohamaru whined.

**~xXx~**

"Shino, why are you in this?" I whispered to Shino.

"I don't really know," he whispered back. Kiba was some distance ahead of us rummaging through some shrubs. "Real question is: why is he in this? I think he's trying to help the police or something. His father was a private investigator."

"So I guess he wants to become a P.I.?" I surmised. "But, what's with the outfit?"

"For shits and giggles, I guess." Shino's comment caught me off-guard; he doesn't usually curse that much. "We both are aware how _creative_ _and fun-loving_ he can be."

"Nothing unusual here," Kiba said, taking off a pair of latex gloves. "Where's the next hit, Watson?"

Shino's vein in his forehead bulged a bit, but Kiba didn't notice it (not very surprising, huh?). "East Side Jewelry, Kiba."

"Call me Sherlock Kiba."

"I can leave if you'd prefer."

"L-let's just get this over with," I said, trying to relieve as much tension as I can.

**~xXx~**

"Why am I here? We should be looking for the cat god," Hanabi said sounding somewhat annoyed. She and Konohamaru were at the local ice cream restaurant. Why, you ask? Because Konohamaru thinks that she's losing her mind and he was trying to get her mind of her "delusion."

"I thought you liked this place?" asked Konohamaru.

"I won't complain. You are paying for this. But we need to look for Author-sama and defeat him."

"Why are you so obsessed with this guy? Did he hurt or threaten you?"

"No." Hanabi took a sip from her soda.

"Then why are you looking for him?"

"I don't really know," she relented, looking down at the table. A light bulb must've lit up in her head because she exclaimed. "This must be his doing!" Konohamaru face palmed himself.

**~xXx~**

At East Side Jewelry…

"Okay team, search the surrounding areas for clues. If you find anything, bag and tag it," ordered Sherlock Kiba.

"What, we're NCIS now?" I muttered.

"Just think of it as doing something constructive," consoled Shino.

Kiba and I took the front of the store and Shino took the back. While we were looking Kiba and I got a nice cold shower from the storekeeper's bucket.

"Why did you come back? You want something else to steal?" the storekeeper spat at us.

I wiped some water away from my eyes with my hand and stood up. "I only have to say one word to my father and he can fire your ass in a blink of an eye."

The storekeeper realized who I was—the daughter of the store's owner, Hyuga Hiashi. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Hyuga-sama!" He bowed his head at me several times pouring out apologies one after another. "Please don't fire me!"

"Don't do this again," I warned him. Now pissed off about the situation I told Kiba and Shino that I'll have to end our detective work.

As I was walking back home I heard a commotion in an alley. "Tell me, cat god, why you make me pathetic in your story! Answer me!"

I found my sister arguing with a cat and Konohamaru was trying to persuade her to stop making a ruckus and to come home.

"Please help her; she's crazy," Konohamaru begged me.

With the help of Konohamaru we pried Hanabi away from the alley cat and took her home. We eventually convinced her to go to bed.

**~xXx~  
**

_At the hospital…._

"Well, she's a bit nutty now," Tsunade said, "but I think that she's just understood. She _really_ needs a hobby to alleviate herself of boredom."

"Is she gonna be okay?" I asked.

"She should be fine," Tsunade reassured me. "She just needs a lot of sleep. I'm going to wean her off the seroquel. I'll come by your place in a few weeks to see how things are going."

As I was walking out Tsunade's door, I saw Tenten sitting there in the waiting area. "Here for a visit?" I asked her.

Tenten's face immediately flushed and she started acting all flustered (which is what job toward Naruto is!). "Y-yeah…"

"You don't look so well. Are you okay?" I asked.

"I think I'll live," Tenten said. "Try not to worry about me."

Then the receptionist called Tenten in and she bolted to the doctor's office faster than a freight train. _I wonder what's up with her, _I pondered.

**~xXx~**

Monday morning came and went like most every other day at school. As we usually do I joined Shino for lunch while Kiba was still getting food.

"We should alert each other when we see Kiba doing something crazy," Shino devised.

"Should we reactive last year's method?" I asked. I did not want to go through Kiba's antics one more time.

"Yes," Shino agreed. "Whenever something happens, we will notify each other by cell phone."

We each lugged out our cells and made sure that we had each other's numbers. The plan will do down as this: Whenever we notice that Kiba is thinking of a crazy idea to implement on us, we will notify each other by text message and in dire situations by phone call. If we deemed it necessary we tie Kiba up and give him melatonin or something so he could sleep his craziness off. We devised this plan after the "Wet T-Shirt Incident." Last year we decided that this plan was no longer necessary. Yes, Kiba was still weird, but we got through his antics and thought that he was maturing (also somewhat awkwardly). However, the shower from the store owner was the last straw!

Anywho, Kiba got his food and came over to where we were sitting at with some newspaper clippings.

"What's with the clippings?" I asked Kiba, hoping that he's doing something constructive rather than destructive for once.

"There's an ad for a leather jacket for real cheap," Kiba said sifting through papers and food.

Shino and I looked at each other in shock. "What are you gonna go with it?" I asked.

"Wear it," Kiba said, looking at me cock-eyed. "What else?"

"No offense," Shino interjected, "but this is pretty normal. You're not going to trick us?"

"All I'm gonna do is get a jacket and a motorcycle and join the Hell's Angels."

"What?!"

"I'm kidding. You both take me too seriously. I can be normal, too."

I breathed a sigh of relief and we all continued on with our lunch without much incident other than whatever drama was playing out for the day.

**~xXx~**

"I bear gifts sent from Haruhi!" Sakura said, holding a slip of paper in her hand right in my face after school.

"Anything good?" I said, with my vision blocked as to not see the paper.

"A ticket to a concert Friday night," Sakura said, dangling the ticket in my face. "Ino, Tenten, and I are also coming."

"We need a car," I moaned. We're all sixteen (Tenten's seventeen) and of course we've talked about a getting our permits. However, until all that happens, we have to get places on our own.

"So are you going or not?" Sakura teased.

"Fine, fine," I said, snatching the ticket away.

"Eight on Friday," Sakura said as she was leaving.

"Eight o'clock for a concert?" I asked.

"We're meeting up ahead of time." Sakura waved, "Ja ne."

_Who's appearing in this show? St. Valentine's Demise, Archetype, Satellite, Scarlet Harlot _[**A/N:** all fictional bands]_…sounds interesting enough. Why not? Not doing much otherwise._

**~xXx~**

"There's not much more that needs to be done," the shadow said in his secret lair fair away.

"Shall we send Itachi and Kisame there?" the blue-haired woman said.

"We are too close to fail," he said. "By the way, did you tuck Tobi in bed yet?"

A vein bulged in the blue-haired woman's forehead. "After drugging him with tranquilizers and sugar, yes I did."

"Did you give him his pacifier?"

"Blow me. You don't pay me enough."

"Fair enough. Give Itachi and Kisame what they need."

**~xXx~**

**~xXx~**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: GRANTED THIS CHAPTER DIDN'T REALLY DELIVER ON THE COMEDY, BUT COMEDY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES. ANYHOW, I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHEN THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP SINCE I'M DEALING WITH LIFE IN GENERAL AND WRITING AS WELL. PLEASE CONTINUE TO SUPPORT ME LIKE YOU'VE DONE IN THE PAST.**


	7. More To Come

"Tell me again why I'm going to a rock concert," I asked Sakura via phone late at night.

"Because Naruto and Sasuke are going," Sakura reminded me.

Granted, Naruto's the main reason I do half the things I do. "Who else will be there?"

"Neji, Lee, Kiba, Lee, amongst the rest of the prefecture, or state or whatever the hell we live in." Sakura said. "If Lee asks me out one more time, so help me Haruhi…."

"Neji?" I said out of a tad bit of shock. "How you got him to go? He doesn't even like rock."

"Because Tenten made him. Them two are really close these days. I guess she likes him more than we think…"

"How quaint…."

"After that, if Kiba can pull some strings, we're going to his place to have a party. "

_I could use that chance to get closer to Naruto! _ I mused. "Do you really think a party at Kiba's a wise idea? What if he does something weird?"

"His very existence is weird. I think his mom was smoking pot when she had him."

"Earlier today, Kiba actually seemed…normal."

"Maybe he hooked up with your sister."

"Ew!" I shrieked, which lead to cackling on the other end. "That's not funny!"

"Why not? They're both minors." Sakura teased.

"If you don't stop I'll tell Sasuke what happened at summer camp last year with Ino!" I blackmailed.

"We didn't do anything sexual, if that's what you're hinting at." Sakura caught me in my buff—er, I mean bluff (no funny ideas, guys!). Damn it!

"Not when I get done with my story!" I tried to salvage my blackmail, but then I remembered something. "Oh, wait, he's a guy. He'd probably get a nosebleed from it. Nevermind."

"I'm kidding," Sakura consoled me. "You know I love you."

"Yeah, I love ya too." I relented.

*cough*"Queers"*cough* I heard from Hanabi on the other end of the line.

"Hanabi, get off the phone!" I yelled.

"Hey, I just happened to pick up the phone."

"How long ago?"

"About five minutes ago. "

"Use your cell phone to call your boyfriend!" I yelled.

"I don't have a boyfriend," Hanabi sternly corrected me.

"You and Konohamaru spend a lot of time together," I insinuated.

"He's my study partner!" She quipped.

"Yeah, studying sex ed…"I joked. Hanabi finally hung up the other end.

"You have a lot of fun for your sister," Sakura remarked. "O Puberty! How majestic and yet frightening art thou!"

"You're a philosopher now?"

"In my spare time between school and life. So I'll see ya whenever?"

"Sure. Ja ne."

**~xXx~**

"Hey, Itachi," Kisame said, as he and Itachi were pulling out buckets out of their car in front of the school statue. "You ever wonder why we're pulling pranks all over the country?"

"Not really," Itachi replied, handing Kisame the last bucket. "Can you get the ladder?"

Kisame situated the ladder on the right of the statue and started to climb up it. "Not ever? Not even about this 'mission?'"

Itachi started handing him the buckets. "The sooner you stop talking, the faster we can get back to our lives."

**~xXx~**

"And then the little boy got hit by a car and died," Ino finished a joke.

"I don't get it," Tenten said, tailing Ino, Sakura, and I on our way to school.

"The kid never knew what the 'bad word' meant," Sakura explained.

"Oh," Tenten said, and then the full force of it came upon her. "Hey, Ino, that's cruel!" Ino just laughed maniacally.

Then we came across a large group of paparazzi huddling in front of our school. "Who's here, Al Sharpton?" Sakura mused.

"Excuse me," I interrupted a photographer in the middle of a shot. "What's going on here?"

"Someone poured blood on the city founder's statue," he said, eyes still set in front of him.

"What?" Sakura and Ino exclaimed in surprise. That was, no need to mention, a complete shock. If it was football season I can see a team from Suna or Kiri dressing the statue in their football colors, but pouring blood on it? No one would even think about it. Did Kiba do this? No. Even _he_ is not that stupid.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Jiraiaya-sensei waved his hands in front of the crowd. "The matter is being invested by Konoha's finest police officers. Please leave so we can conduct our classes. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. We'll keep you posted." Then the crowds began to disperse.

"Hey, Jiraiaya-sensei," we greeted him.

"What happened to Tsunade-sama?" Tenten asked. (In addition to being a doctor, she's also the principal of the school. Talk about a full load!)

"Hey ladies," he greeted back. "Some wisecracking woman decided to give birth earlier this morning, so she mitigated the scepter of power to me. Better hop to class now. This commotion is no excuse for being late to class."

"Hai, hai," we sighed as we moped to our classroom.

"Take your seats, please students!" Kakashi-sensei damn near shouted to his somewhat rowdy class.

"Who disgraced our statue, sensei?" one student chirped.

"I don't know," Kakashi-sensei responded. "But we still need to go on with our school activities."

"I bet it was Suna trying to get even with us for beating them last year," a jock jeered, possibly under the influence of steroids.

"Let's not insinuate anything until they find proof," Kakashi-sensei tried to calm everyone down. "If you don't take your seats and calm down I'll give you pop quizzes all day long." Everyone became silent. "Good. Now let's turn to page one hundred and thirty-six of our textbooks…."

**~xXx~**

The lunch hall was buzzing about the statue, but I tried to drown out the chatter and tried to just sit down and enjoy my lunch before I have to rush off to my next class. "The chop suey is actually half-way decent," I tried to open a somewhat of a discussion with Shino.

Shino just grunted in affirmation.

"Where's Kiba?" I asked.

"Out trying to score a girlfriend," Shino curtly replied.

"Really?" I said in slight shock. "Is he in heat or something?"

"Who knows with him?" Shino said.

"At least he's not running around like an absolute idiot."

"Mhmm."

"This somewhat of a silence without him is nice every once in a while."

"Oi, Hinata!"

I stand corrected.

"Think there'd be girls at the rock concert?" Kiba asked me.

"You mean girls actually listen to that crap?" I asked back.

"Why are you going if you don't like rock?" Kiba shot back.

"To get in ramen-boy's pants," Shino said.

"At least I'm trying," I shot back. "What about you? When are you gonna hook up?"

"In my own time," he curtly replied.

"Less talking, more eating," Kiba reminded us. "I only have five more minutes until my next class."

"That's what you get for trying to pickup chicks during your lunch break," I smugly taunted him.

**~xXx~**

Not much happened after lunch and after school. The police hadn't caught the perpetrators yet. Homework from Kakashi-sensei was surprisingly light, but who's complaining?

Tenten invited me to her house. The reason? None really; just to hang out and watch TV.

"Nothing much is on," Tenten said while changing channels with the remote she calls "clicky." "Oh, my god…"

"What?" I said, pulling my attention away from the nachos.

"Look who's on 'To Catch A Predator…'" Tenten said, obviously disturbed.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed in awe. "It's Orochimaru-sensei! Change the channel!"

"_There's nothing wrong with sharing your bed with a young boy," Orochimaru hissed._

"I-I can't!" Tenten said. "It's like a train wreck! I try to look away or change the channel, but I just can't!"

Haruhi-dono must've heard our cries because at that moment the circuit breaker in Tenten's house tripped and the electricity went out. Tenten fooled around with the circuit breaker and in a few minutes of being in total darkness the lights came back on.

"Let's watch a movie instead," I said, still reliving the horror of seeing Orochimaru-sensei on TV.

"At least good was on our side and made it black out," Tenten said, bringing over a DVD from her bookshelf. "Let's change the subject. Looking forward to the concert tomorrow night? It's gonna frickin' rock!"

"I guess," I said. "It'll make my night if I could inch my way to Naruto."

**~xXx~**

_Got here before sensei, good! _I thought as I sat my ass at my desk.

"I heard Kakashi-sensei's has a bug or something," Ino nudged me.

"I don't care who teaches at the moment," I said.

"What's up with you?" she asked.

"My monthly visitor," I whispered to Ino.

"Oh," Ino mouthed.

"Why today of all days?" I whined silently to myself with my head down on my desk.

I must've dozed off because the next thing I heard was, "Good morning, victims!" I snapped awake. I know that voice! That's—

"Anko-sensei!" Naruto shrieked. I jerked my head toward the door to see Naruto's chalk eraser trick happen all over Anko-sensei's head.

"Who's responsible for this gift?" she asked with the eraser in her hand.

"Me…" Naruto reluctantly hummed.

"Oooh," Mitarashi-sensei cooed. "I'm gonna have fun subbing this class."

"You don't mean—" Naruto started.

"You bet your sweet ass!" Anko-sensei said. "I'm your teach for the day!" That remark made everyone almost audibly gasp; it made Naruto cry. "That's not nice. I am a good sensei." She then pitched the eraser just barely over Naruto's head.

"Now, kiddies, if there are no more interruptions, I shall start torturing you now. Wouldn't that be fun?" she showed everyone a wonderful yet sinister view of her pearly whites.

"We're gonna die!" Naruto shrieked.

"Quit being a baby," Shikamaru quipped, raising his head momentarily from his rest. "You're being really troublesome."

"Where's Kakashi-sensei?" Chouji said, raising his hand.

"Well, how it was told to me," Mitarashi-sensei began, "was that he had a case of PMS and that pussy wanted to take the day off. Any more questions?"

"Will you spare my life?" Naruto feebly asked.

"Grow some 'nads, you wuss," Sasuke whispered just above his breath.

"Fuck you, you bastard!" Naruto shot back.

"No cussing in class, dammit!" Anko-sensei quirped. "If I have to tell _anyone_ else that, they'll get detention, Anko-style!"

**~xXx~**

Anko-sensei teaching the class wasn't that bad actually. Sure she has her quirks, but who doesn't?

At lunch Shino, Kiba, and I just sat down to eat some lunch. All was pretty normal until a grave disaster swept upon us.

"Hey there, kids," Anko-sensei said, placing her tray right next to me. "Mind if I sit here?"

"They drove you away from the teachers' table again?" Kiba asked.

"I enjoy eating with my students," Anko-sensei answered. "Helps with the bonding process and lulls my victims into a false sense of security."

_Why me, Haruhi-sama? _I thought to no one in particular.

"Well, a couple more years and I won't be able to see your shining faces anymore," Anko-sensei said, sounding nostalgic, which alarmed me a tad. She's usually a bit cheerier than this. "But I get a new batch of meat to play with, so the separation pangs won't be that difficult."

"Are you a predator or our mother?" Kiba remarked under his breath. Shino just kept eating his sandwich.

I wonder how Anko-sensei would be if she had kids….I shivered at the thought. Either she'll corrupt them with her weird ways or they'd be as weird if not weirder than she is!

"Catching a cold?" Mitarashi-sensei said, putting the back of her hand on my forehead.

"No," I said, somewhat uncomfortable from the touch. "I-I'm fine. I p-promise."

"If it wouldn't be breaking laws I would just give you a huggle," Anko-sensei said, obviously pleased at my nervousness. Kiba snickered at the word "huggle."

"It looks like you're having fun," Kakashi-sensei said behind Anko-sensei. She jumped at his voice.

"Oh, I see you're better," Anko-sensei said, failing miserably at being nonchalant.

"Yeah, my _PMS_ went away," Kakashi-sensei said, a bit peeved.

"Uhh…" Kiba said.

"Funny thing happened this morning. When I got to my car, my tires were slashed. I got my car towed and my mechanic said I was missing some spark plugs and brakes. Ayame-chan was gracious enough to give me a ride to work." All four of us stared at Anko-sensei.

"Uhh…I'm not feeling too well," Mitarashi-sensei said, slithering away to the safety of her P.E. office.

Kakashi-sensei sighed. "If she wanted to teach my class that badly, I would've let her. I don't think the principal needs to know of this."

"You're really forgiving, sensei," Shino noted.

"She originally wanted to become a teacher like me," Kakashi-sensei indulged this tidbit to us.

"What made her become a P.E. instructor?" I asked.

"Should I tell you?" he teased. "Well, let's just say that a certain 'interest' had a lot to do with it. If I tell you anymore, slashed tires would be the least of my concern. Anyway, it's about time to wrap it up and go to class."

**~xXx~**

At home later that night, there was a knock on the door. "Hey, Tenten," I said, obviously finding her on the other side of the door.

"Is Neji home?" she asked, all flustered and embarrassed.

"Uhh…sure," I said. "He's upstairs in his room. Is everything alright?"

"I'll show myself upstairs." And in a flash she ran upstairs.

_What's up with her? _I worried to myself. _I've never seen her this disturbed._

THUD!

"What the—" I began to say, practically running through the door. And there lied Neji, dead…or so I thought. He _looked_ rather dead.

"H-he fainted," Tenten stuttered.

_Girlfriend, stuttering is my job! _my Inner Hinata scorned. "Tenten, what happened? What did you do to Neji-niisan?"

"I-I…"

**Author's Note:**** Sorry it took so damn long to write this down. I think I'm doing a sucky job at writing a romantic comedy, but I wanted to add some serious elements to it, too. Well, back to the writing board….Thank you for continuing to read my work.**


	8. At The Concert

_HONK! HONK!_

"Hinata! Oi! Hinata!" I heard Sakura yell in between car beeps.

"Hold on a minute, would ya?" I said as I was leaving the door and putting on a shoe at the same time. "Tenten's not driving?" I asked when I noticed that Sakura and Ino were in Sasuke's car and that he was driving.

"Tenten and Neji got other things to do than to rock out," Sakura shrugged. "Sasuke was gracious enough to drive us to the concert."

"You threatened to do a strip tease," Sasuke whined, rolling his eyes. "I had no choice."

"I did no such thing and you know it!" Sakura nudged his head.

"Anymore of this crap and I'm kicking you all out on the curb," duck-butthead threatened.

"You're a big softie, you know that?" Ino jeered him.

_Well, I guess I'll get on before he rides on without us. _

**~xXx~**

_At the concert/carnival/thing…._

"Okay, let's meet here at around eleven," Sakura said.

"No 'buddy system' or something?" I suggested.

"Hinata, you're so gullible," Ino whined. "There are no pimps that are going to whisk you away or anything. We're adults now. Time we had some privileges."

I didn't like the idea, but what could go wrong? Young girls don't get kidnapped everyday or anything, right?

"Me and Sasuke will get to know each other," Sakura said, looking back to Sasuke.

"Does he know it yet?" I asked.

"If he doesn't he will soon find out," Ino piped in.

_I'll just float around until I hear something I like. _There was a lot to take in. For starters, most everyone wore black and some sort of body modification. I felt out of place. I just came in with a jacket and slacks. I stuck out worse than a sore thumb. There were also smells of all kinds of food and…waste? Whoops. Wandered too close to the porter johns. BUMP!

"I'm so-"

"BLOODY HELL!" I guess I bumped into someone. There stood a girl with fiery pink hair with a stain on her shirt. "You spilled my beer on my expensive shirt, you bitch!"

I'm sooo dead..."I'm very sorry!"

"Is 'sorry' going to get my beer back?" She violently hissed. "Hey, Kin, look at what this fuck-nut did!"

"You always know how to pick 'em, Tayuya," a black-haired girl with a black tank top and camo cargo pants.

"I'll pay for another one," I offered, hoping to diffuse the situation.

"What about the shirt? You going to pay for that too?". Then she grabbed my collar. "Or should I take your shirt instead? You look like you're 'bout my size.". She began leading me towards the porter johns. "Come 'ere if ya know what's good fer ya."

I looked around me, hoping that someone would put an end to this but no one came. No one even batted an eye. It's like they're used to this, if not expecting it.

"You better do what she says," Kin whispered into my ear. "It'll just be rougher if you resist."

"R-resist what?" I stuttered, now realizing how mortal I truly am.

The hot-head put her arm around me. "Don't worry. Your shirt won't be the only thing you'll give me." She traced my lips with her finger. I turned my head away in disgust. "You won't be so rebellious afterwards. Maybe then you'll work enough to pay off my shirt."

"Please don't make me a hooker!" I pleaded.

Tayuya and Kin looked at me dumbfounded and then they burst out into laughter. "It's not all that bad."

By this point they gingerly brought me to a porter john. Well, this is it. I closed my eyes for what I anticipated.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Wait...that voice sounds familiar. I opened one eye. "Naruto!" I saw my savior coming out the same john as they were leading me into.

"This bitch spilt beer all over my shirt and now she's going to pay," Tayuya spat out. "Mind your own damned business and get out of my way."

"I swore long ago that I'd never hit a girl," Naruto began, "but in order to protect my friends I'll do whatever it takes." He then grabbed my assailant and swung her into the john. Naruto quickly closed the door and tilted it onto its door, spilling all its excrement on Tayuya.

"Let's get out of here while we have a chance," Naruto said, leading me by the same arm that they led me. This time was different though. Tayuya's grasp was cold and hurtful, but his was warm and gentle. I just stared at the back of his glorious golden head until he suddenly stopped. "I think that's far away enough.". He turned back to me and we locked our gazes. "Are you alright?"

I was captivated by his kindness. Before I knew it my face became beat red and the tears started to flow. Pressing my face against his chest, I wept. Naruto was a bit taken back, but he wrapped his arms around me and held me. "Everything's going to be alright."

**~xXx~**

We spent the next few hours just talking about random stuff after I stopped using his shirt as a handkerchief. Naruto went on and on about how Jiraiya works him hard taking care of his exotic pet frogs. "You wouldn't figure that frogs need such care! I'd thought you just stick them in an aquarium and they'd be peachy. That pervert sure cares about his frogs. If he'd give as much effort to teaching or anything else that he gives his frogs…." Naruto trailed off from there. The way he talks has always fascinated me, and not just about frogs. His unwavering spirit was somewhat of a rumor in school, mostly about homework and P.E.

"I'm sorry," Naruto apologized. "I must be boring the hell out of you. You feel better?"

I nodded, smiling a bit. "A little. You're not boring me in the slightest."

"Oi, Hinata!" I heard Sakura yell. I turned to her direction and she was jumping up and down waving, obviously trying to get my attention. She made her way toward me. "Ino and I were thinking of hitting a restaurant. Want to come with? I swiped Sasuke's car keys." She jingled a pair of keys that she was holding between her index finger and thumb.

"Sure," I agreed.

**~xXx~**

At a local restaurant back in Konoha I didn't feel much like eating, but I ordered a burger and fries just to keep up appearance. Ino and Sakura were chatting about…I don't really remember. It all sounded like white noise to me. I was just eating my food when a french frie bounced off my forehead.

I jumped a little, and Sakura and Ino giggled. "So~" Ino began somewhat suggestively, "did you and Naruto french?"

"No," I said and then returned to my burger.

"Something's up," Sakura said in a serious tone. "Even for you this is too quiet."

"Nothing is up," I replied. "And you're not hiding that hickey very well with your collar either." Sakura fidgeted with her collar a bit. "I'm just reflecting on life in general. So, what were you two talking about?"

I believe they still weren't convinced, but they resumed their conversation. Apparently they were talking about their boyfriends and the concert.

Sakura dropped me off at home at around midnight or one (I don't remember…). All I wanted to do was clear my head by taking a showering and going to sleep. I was somewhat surprised to see dad's car in the driveway.

When I got to the door the door opened and came rushing out with a serious expression on his face. "I have to take care of some business," he said curtly, barely glancing at me. Neji was at the kitchen table with an ashen look.

I know when Neji isn't in a sociable mood, so I just took a shower and went to bed.

**~xXx~**

By Monday morning I felt a lot better. Hanabi and Neji had already left for school, so I took my sweet time getting ready for the day. I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door. Outside there was a green sports car and someone dressed like a punk rocker leaning against it. I froze. The person was Tayuya.

She raised her face and pointed her thumb at the car. "Get in." I did not even budge. "I can carry you in if you want." Rather than tempt her since I don't know why she was here I hastily got in the passenger seat of the car.


	9. Lesbisch

CHAPTER NINE

"Alright, alright," Kakashi-sensei said. "Settle down. Nara, Shikamaru." A light snore filled the classroom. "Detention but here." He crossed his name out. "Hyuuga, Hinata." After a minute of silence Kakashi-sensei looked around the classroom. _That's unusual,_ he thought. _Her seat's empty._ "Uchiha, Sasuke."

"Sure," Sasuke shrugged.

"Well, I think that's about—"

"Sensei, where's Tenten?" Sakura asked.

"Transferred," Kakashi-sensei replied.

"Do you know where?"

"I can't tell you. It's classified. Now I'm sure one of you has her cell number if you're really curious. Otherwise we have to get on with the class. By the way, you have too much makeup—" Kakashi-sensei pointed to a random spot on his neck. Sakura just shifted nervously in her chair.

"Okay, something's up," Sakura said to Ino during lunch. "Hinata didn't show up for the first time since the first grade and Tenten gets transferred."

"Have you called either one of them?" Ino suggested.

"No. We can't use our cell phones during school hours, remember? But I can give them a quick text." Sakura pulled out her pink and shot off a couple of text messages. "We can also bug Neji if we don't hear from either of them."

"Yeah," Ino agreed. "I'm sure both of them are fine. Maybe they just have the flu or something."

"Do you think Shikamaru will get expelled for sleeping?" Sakura said, changing the topic.

"Nah," Ino waved her hand dismissively. "I think the teachers just want him to accomplish _something_ in class. They usually have him do something like alphabetize random library shelves. He said that he could do that in his sleep if they let him. We study really hard, he sleeps, and he comes out top of the class. Life's a bitch."

"Do you feel like something's missing?" Kiba asked Shino, as he was poking whatever "meat" they served for lunch.

"You mean other than _just us two_ talking to each other _without a third person_?" Shino said.

"Yeah, most peculiar." Kiba mused. Shino didn't know what was would be a better idea—facepalm himself or smack Kiba.

"Seat taken, bastard?" Naruto said, plopping his tray in the seat in front of Sasuke.

Sasuke grimaced at the tray. "Didn't you already eat?"

"There's always room for ramen, especially Teuchi's," Naruto chirped. "So how's your bulimia?"

"Why do you even talk to me? What have I done to piss off the gods?" Sasuke groaned, more to himself than Naruto.

"What did you get on the last test? What was number twelve?"

"I hope that there's a special level of hell for you."

"Yeah, I get that a lot." He somehow managed to say that while shoving his face with ramen.

Sasuke began looking for a route out of the cafeteria at this point. His saving grace came in the form of Sakura as she was leaving. He stealthily left the table as Naruto was distracted with ramen and babbling incoherently and gave Sakura's arm a slight squeeze. "Whatever you do just keep walking. Don't make any noises."

"What? You're kidnapping me?" Sakura whispered suggestively.

"Maybe later," Sasuke said, gently steering her toward the exit. "Just keep walking."

"Whatever you say," she sang.

* * *

"You sure you don't want one?" Tayuya asked, passing something that I didn't believe is a cigarette to me while driving.

"N-no," I squeaked, still rather nervous about the whole situation.

We haven't done much of anything. The most we've done is chit chat about my life and filling up the gas. That's about it even though I do feel calmer now.

"W-what is going to happen to me?"

"Well, now I'm just working my magic on you." She took a drag and blew the smoke near my face. She glanced at the time. "Then you'll go home. Sounds fun?" I had the impression that it wouldn't be much fun for me.

Within a few minutes she pulled up onto a back road and parked off to the side. Then she shifted the back of my seat all the way down. I could feel my heart rate going up. She took a small drag and brought her lips to mine. She relaxed my jaw and shared that drag.

Even though I was not expecting this, I thought it would be a lot worse. I was thinking that she would've beat the crap out of me and locked me in a refrigerator in abandoned junk yard far away from Konoha.

I don't know how long she was making out with me. Red and blue lights zipped by and Tayuya got up abruptly. "Dammit, those pigs are almost never here!" She threw her car in gear and drove back on the road.

It took me a few good minutes to realize what had happened. This woman that I didn't even know took my first kiss away from me! If the police car hadn't come I hate to think what else she would've done. At this realization I began to break down and cry.

Tayuya glanced at me. "Shit," she muttered, pulling over on the side of the road. She opened up her glove compartment and pulled out a rag. Gently, she dried off my eyes. "Never had them cry before. There. You look better." Needless to say that gesture confused the hell out of me.

She dropped me off a few blocks away from my house. She let me out and gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. Then she just drove off. Now I'm really confused.

When I arrived home Neji and Hanabi were watching TV. Neji saw me and pulled me aside. "Where were you?"

"I wasn't feeling well," I replied. What was he getting at with that tone of voice?

Neji pointed to a random spot on my collar bone. "What's that?"

I swatted his hand away. "I'm not feeling well. I'm going to bed." I stormed off to my bed and cried myself to sleep.


	10. Best Left Forgotten

CHAPTER 10

Best Left Forgotten

Hatake Kakashi was sitting in a bar late Friday night. Actually, it was more like morning, about an hour 'til last call. I would tell you how he was drinking with his mask still on, but he'd said that he would kill me if I did. He was nearing the end of his weekly ritual of drowning past sins. He set his now empty glass across from him and waited.

The bartender brought out a now near-empty bottle of scotch. "The usual?"

"Actually, can I have some water?" The bar was getting emptier by the minute. He was going to down a few glasses of water before giving Ayame a call per usual.

"Hey! I didn't know you partied!" Anko howled, shaking his shoulder violently. "How are ya?"

"Not drunk enough," he mumbled.

"Yeah, it was getting lonely back home. The boa doesn't party, it turns out. Hey, barkeep! Who's leg you have to molest to get a martini around here? Actually, scratch that. Got any beer?"

"We're closing in half an hour," the bartender replied, handing her a cold beer.

"That's cool. Wanna come to my place and play jenga or something?"

"I got to be somewhere tomorrow."

"Wanna ride home?"

"Ayame will pick me up."

"At 1:45 in the morning?"

"Usually does." Kakashi sent out a text.

"School's that rough? Maybe I can help ya out on Monday?"

Kakashi glanced over his shoulder. "It looks like she's here."

"No wonder you were late texting," Ayame sighed. "Hey, Anko. Sorry to ruin your fun but I have to drag him home."

"Gotta tend to the cats anyway, Anko relented.

"I didn't know you have cats."

"They're for the snake." Ayame deadpanned. "I'm kidding, but I do have a snake. See you two on Monday."

"Does she really have a snake?"

"She's had it ever since she graduated college. Thought it would be funny to strangle me with it. Can you help me to the car?"

Around noon the next day Kakashi made his way to the same tombstone he visits every Saturday. "Hey, what's up? Class has been a real handful this past week. Hope you're doing fine, Obito."

"_Hey, Kakashi, the night is still young! Onto the next club!" Obito was practically marching down the street._

"_We already got thrown out of two of them," Rin stated tentatively. "Let's go home. We're not even supposed to be in this part of the city."_

"_Bah! Old wives' tales! Kakashi and I will protect ya!"_

"_We could've caught a bus if _somebody _wasn't late," Kakashi reminded aggravatingly._

"_I was helping an old lady cross the street," Obito defended. "You can't fault a man for helping out the elderly, can you?"_

"_Liar," Kakashi sneered, eliciting a chuckle from Rin._

_After that Kakashi didn't remember much. What he did remember was being violently thrown out the back door because the bouncer had caught onto their real age. Something must've happened because Obito decided to pick a fight with a hobo._

"_Obito, it's time to go home," Kakashi demanded._

"_That faggot said something about my mother!"_

"_He doesn't even know you. Come on, let's go."_

_Next thing they knew the hobo lunged at Obito with a knife. After a few minutes of struggling and Rin screaming the hobo limped off, leaving a scar above Kakashi's eye and a deeper one on his soul. An hour later Kakashi and Rin were in the hospital and waited until Minato, then principal of the school, drove them home. They never did catch the attacker._

Kakashi didn't ever forget that night. He stopped partying but started being drunk and depressed. Rin must've got fed up with him because about a few months later she moved. He eventually shaped up and joined the police force at 19, but those were dark times that resurface every week since.

Ayame showed up at his side and pulled his arm close to her. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Kakashi sighed. "Just have to make peace again." He glanced over at Minato's grave and noticed a blue carnation right below the tombstone. "Every so often I notice that type of flower on his grave. I wonder who's been leaving it."

"I think it's weird you keep a record," Ayame joshed. "Come on. Let's go out to a restaurant or something."

"Happy ending?"

"Don't press your luck."

* * *

"You sure she's even around?" I asked. Sakura, Ino, and I were at Tenten's house.

"If she's sick we need to know," Sakura justified. "If she won't answer we can just pick the lock."

"I swear, you being—oh," Tentan began, until she noticed us. "Why are you here?"

"You weren't in school," Sakura began.

"And then you get transferred," Ino continued.

"We want to know what's up," Sakura said mischievously, then pushed past Tenten towards her room.

"I didn't say you can barge in!" Tenten gave chase. Ino and I followed them to Tenten's room.

Tenten was leaning against the wall with her hands over her face and Ino was picking up random baby clothes off the floor. "Aww, these are sooo cute! I didn't know your mom was pregnant."

"She isn't." All six eyes fell on Tenten. After a minute of awkward silence Ino threw her arms around Tenten's and hugged her tightly. "My neck, my neck!"

"Who's the daddy?" Ino asked, jumping off her.

"Itachi," Tenten said without missing a beat. Ino deadpanned. "Who do you think?"

"Just because you sleep around doesn't mean we all do," Sakura jeered.

"Sai and I are kindred spirits," Ino flouted.

"Just one question: does Sai do the guy or do you?" With that Ino threw Sakura into a headlock and started giving her noogies. "Alright, uncle! I give up!"

It took Tenten about half an hour to get used to the idea of us knowing about her pregnancy. We settled down on the floor of her room tearing off those bloody stapled on price tags off the clothes. "Is this why you transferred?" I asked.

"Well, that's what my mom thought at first," Tenten said, having a particularly hard time with one staple off the sleeve of a onesie. "But your dad said that since I'm practically family now I'll need a good education and he pulled some strings for me to get to a good private school. After that people will be lining up to hire me."

"He's probably going to push for you to work at one of his offices or something,"

"Can't complain there. I'd always figured he'd offer me a job after college. Just didn't think it'd be this early. Oh, by the way you're all welcome to my shotgun wedding after that."

With that I imagined Dad sitting down at the wedding with his hands on a loaded shotgun. I had to stifle a laugh.

"If he gets to be controlling my mom said he'd castrate him. She think he has an unholy interest since he's only Neji's uncle."

"But he is Neji's guardian," Ino interjected.

"That still doesn't explain everything. He insisted on buying brand-new clothes, but I told him that I wanted to buy them. I'm worried about what will happen when the baby's born."

"You'll be fine," Sakura replied.

There was a knock on the door and Neji poked his head out. "There's my baby maker!"

Neji furrowed his brow. "You ready to go?"

"We should probably go," Sakura said, yanking a t-shirt from a disappointed Ino.

"You can come to my place," I suggested. Ino and Sakura thought that was a good idea.

"I can give you a ride," Neji offered.

"That's so sweet," Sakura jeered.

"Well, it's just that it's raining cats and dogs."

Tenten pinched Neji's cheek. "I still think it's sweet."

* * *

"Fuuuuu-!" Naruto yelled, holding up a wet newspaper over his head.

He continued walking down until he heard a car honk and an SUV pulled up. "Wanna ride?"

Naruto thought about it for a minute, because it was Anko driving. However he did not have the power to stop the rain so he got in.

"We can call Jiraiya and have him pick you up at my place. Besides you need dry clothes."

At Anko's house she was busy digging through what she had that would be appropriate for a teenage boy. "Throw these on in the bathroom and I'll throw your clothes in the dryer."

"But this shirt is pink!" Naruto objected.

"That or you could go naked."

"I'll take the shirt." Then he ran into the bathroom. When he came out of the bathroom and a flash went off in his face. When he came to, Anko was smiling with a camera in her hand.

"What the hell?" he cried, rubbing his eyes. "What was that for?"

"Black mail," Anko said, placing her camera on the kitchen counter. "By the way your clothes should be done in about twenty minutes."

A few minutes later he sat himself on her sofa.

"Here ya go," Anko said, holding a can of beer to him. "Oh, wait, you can't have this. I'm sorry. I usually don't have kids at my place. Jiraiya said that I could drop you home. Isn't that fun?"

Naruto grimaced. "Who's this guy with the long hair and glasses?" he asked, looking at an old picture in a frame starring a younger Anko with the aforementioned man.

"Ozzy Osbourne," she replied, giving him a Mountain Dew. She plopped down on a la-z-boy and took a swig out of a beer. "Remind me to take you clubbing when you're twenty. This reminds me of when your dad picked me up during the rain."

"You knew my dad?"

"Sure. He was the principal of the school when I went. I was...well, never mind how old I was. Back then I was a little hell-raiser. One time I ditched school in the middle of the opening ceremony and gave your dad the finger in front of the whole school."

"Really?"

"Pfft, yeah. Well, Tiger—that's what I called your dad, by the way—never gave up on me going to school. He gave me more chances than most people did. Foster care demolished whatever trust I had in authority figures. Orochimaru was a bit better, but not by much. At least the agency let me get a job at one of his pet stores."

"How did my dad help you?"

"Well, will you look at that? Your clothes should be finished by now." She ran to the dryer and pulled out his clothes. "You know what to do."

"Will you take a picture this time?" He begrudgingly took his clothes back.

"I don't diddle kids. Don't get your hopes up." She ruffled up his hair.

About ten minutes later Anko dropped him off at Jiraiya's place. "He looks a lot like you, Tiger."

"_Fuck off," a wet teenage Anko said, riding shotgun in Minato's car._

"_Suit yourself," Minato shrugged. "I just figured you could use some money." This perked her interest, even though she tried to hide it. "Just a few nights a week or so. After school, of course. The missis doesn't get home until after five, and the daycare starts closing down at around three. My job keeps me busy until odd times. Just pick up Naruto and watch him for a few hours. Fifty bucks a week. Pay increase every month or so if your attendance and grades are up."_

"_I could get more by selling smack. I don't sell smack." she said, feeling Minato's disapproving glance._

"_Well, let me know. You remember where my office is?" Anko huffed._

"_Come in," Minato said, looking through his pics. "Aw, Anko. Now telling me before spray painting graffiti on the wall?"_

"_Were you serious about the money?"_

"_Are you serious about going to school?"_

_Anko scowled for a minute. "Sure."_

"_Well, Kushina won't be going back to work for a couple more weeks, but meet up with her and she'll show you the ropes."_

_In the oncoming months Anko began to regard schoolwork and Minato with more respect. At first it was all about making quick cash without dealing with the police or selling herself, but she regarded Minato and Kushina more as elder siblings. She even began calling Minato "Tiger," much to Kushina's chagrin._

"_Hey, Cub," Anko said one day, picking Naruto from daycare. Minato and Kushina planned to leave early to visit Kushina's parents, so Anko volunteered to pick Naruto up._

_About twenty minutes later she arrived at Minato and Kushino's house, and the door was unlocked. Inside was what police later described as a "senseless bloodbath." To this day it remains a cold case. Naruto at least had the fortune to be raised by Jiraiya instead of foster care._

"Be good, Cub," Anko said, before driving away. "God, that was corny."

**A/N: I may have gotten Kakashi's and Anko's ages wrong, but who really cares? I took that liberty to help flesh out their character development. I'll be focusing more on other characters in the next chapter, but let me know how I did.**


	11. Eating Crow

CHAPTER 11

"I have yet to make a major appearance in this fanfic! It's my turn to shine!" Rock Lee declared.

"Well, it's sad you feel that way, but this is school now. Please refrain yourself." Kakashi-sensei rubbed his temples as if a migraine just hit him. Lee sat down sheepishly, earning some giggles and chuckles.

"Haruhi, kill me," Sasuke muttered.

After school I came home to find Hanabi sitting on the couch watching TV. "You always seem to be done with your homework when I come home."

"That's because my teacher only gives homework out to those who do poorly in school," Hanabi replied without averting her gaze. "Got your makeup skills from Sakura?"

"That's…none of your concern, thanks," I replied.

"Just never thought you'd make it that far with him."

"Uh, thanks, I guess." With that I went to my room to work on my homework. The joy of it all.

A minute later Hanabi got a text message from Konohamaru. "What are you doing?"

"Watching Pokemon. You?"

"Finishing homework. Now for sweet, sweet freedom."

"Is that your way of trying to invite you over to play video games?"

"Is it working?"

"Sure come on over."

Five minutes later he came over. "You got here fast," Hanabi remarked.

Konohamaru scratched the back of his head absentmindedly. "Yeah, I was, uh, in the neighborhood. Find the cat yet?"

"Nope. I have to search for something else now—an inukami!" Konohamaru sighed and rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Kidding. Getting better now. Less therapy sessions, and I'm almost done with meds completely. Enough about me. Let's play a game."

Hanabi bent down to look for through a shelf with a few games on it. "Got one," she said, showing it to Konohamaru. His head snapped upright and making forced eye contact with her.

Then his countenance fell. "We aren't-?"

"Why? You chicken? Widdle Kono-chan is gonna wet his twouzas?"

He gulped some courage. "H-how did you even get this game? Wouldn't your dad get pissed?"

"Someone lent it to Hinata a while back. She played it for about twenty minutes and put it on this here shelf. She had to throw away her panties."

Twenty minutes later…

"Please turn it off! Please turn it off!"

"Please let go of my arm. You're cutting off the circulation."

You can pretty much tell what's going on. This was so much noise that I had to leave my bedroom to make sure that whoever was screaming like a little bitch was justified. Sorry, but the screaming was getting on my nerves and it's almost been constant for the last five minutes. I walked down to the living to really give them a piece of my mind when I realized what they were doing. Hanabi was playing "Dead Space" on the PS3 that stayed in the living room because of the bigger flat screen. I shrieked and immediately hid behind the couch they were playing on.

"Nee-sama, your scream is manlier than this little wuss's," Hanabi remarked while shooting off the limbs of a necromorph.

"Why are you even playing that?!"

"I figured that since he's a guy he would dig it. He doesn't."

Yeah, but he doesn't have to worry about sleep any time soon. "Turn it off!"

"Just let me get to a save point." A few minutes later she turned the system off.

I turned to go back to my room when I noticed something. The game made me wet myself, again. Hanabi must've picked up on it by the way I was walking.

"Need a change? Don't bother asking Konohamaru. I think he did the same thing." Then the tone of her voice got more mischievous. "Let's find out, shall we?"

I had to rush Konohamaru to the bathroom faster than the speed of sound before Hanabi groped him. I washed myself up in the lower bathroom and got changed.

"Sorry about that," I said, passing some of Hanabi's clothes to him with a cracked door. "She was just messing with you. I guess she just wanted you to like the same games as she does."

"I still have the jitters that game gave me," he replied, remarkably calm now.

"Sorry about the clothes. We don't have anything else that would fit you. I tried getting a shirt and sweats that weren't gender-specific."

"Actually, I think my shirt is fine," he said handing me Hanabi's blue shirt back.

"I'm sure she'll apologize."

"She doesn't have to." I noticed a slight discoloration in his cheeks, but I chopped that up to nerves.

We went to the living room and Hanabi handed Konohamaru a sandwich. I guess that's her way of saying sorry. He went to sit on the couch and Hanabi's eyebrows furrowed. "_Juicy_?"

"Huh?" he replied in between bites.

"Of all the pants you had to pick, you picked _juicy_?" Konohamaru got up and was turning around in circles to see what she was getting at. Then I saw it, sprawled on his backside in bright yellow letters in a cartoonish font.

I burst out laughing. "Why do you even have something like that? You're 11!" I tried to say that with a straight face, but that didn't work out so well. Konohamaru's face turned redder than a tomato.

"I'll get another one," I chuckled out. Then something hit me when I was halfway up the stairs—what was she doing looking at his butt?

**~xXx~**

"Wanna hear it again?" Kiba said. He and Shino were accompanying me to school the next day. Kiba thought up of a "mad rhyme" and was rapping it to us.

"That sounds swell, but no thank you," I declined. "What did you think, Shino-kun?"

"You're not the next 50 Cent," Shino replied curtly.

"I'll try harder and come back with something better," Kiba pouted.

"Don't rape my ears again." Kiba glared at him.

"Don't try to get money from me when I start touring with Killer Bee."

"The only 'tour' you'll be on with him is to the unemployment line."

"I thought you liked all kinds of music," I interjected.

"Well, there's real talent and then there are people with bigger egos than their 'talent' would merit them. I'm tired of people buying into talentless crap."

Kiba and I looked at him dumbfounded for a minute. "I think that's the most you've spoken in this entire fanfic at once," Kiba said, breaking the silence.

Shino furrowed his eyebrows. "Don't be ridiculous."

_We're sooo late! _I thought to myself after locking up my belongings in the locker room. I double-timed it to class. "I'm sorry I'm late!" I declared, bowing my head as soon as I entered the room.

"Detention for you then!"

_That's not Kakashi-sensei's voice. _I looked up and saw Naruto at the front of the class pointing his finger at me. "W-what?" Sakura and Ino were stifling a laugh. My face was as red as a tomato.

"Yep, Kakashi-sensei is gone, and I'm seizing control of this homeroom! Sasuke, go to the convenience store and buy us some snacks!" Naruto declared.

"Bite me," Sasuke retorted. The class snickered.

"I'm king of this here molehill and I—ouch!"

Anko-sensei was pinching his cheek. "Well if you're the king, then I'm the revolution deposing your ass. Sit, 'your highness.'" Naruto returned to his desk. "You stood out in the sun too long?"

It took about a minute for her words to register with me. "Er—no. I-I don't think so." Anko-sensei pointed to the only remaining desk. Kiba had his head down on his desk trying to contain his laughter.

"Since Hatake decided to play hooky, I'll obviously be teaching this class. So get out your textbooks and turn to page three hundred and ninety-four."

At lunch word has spread of Kakashi-sensei's disappearance. Since this was the time that people found out that Teuchi Ayame was gone, rumors filled the room of them eloping to another country. I figured that since Kakashi-sensei wouldn't just disappear something must've happened to him.

"I think you're over thinking this, Hinata," Sakura said. "Silence doesn't necessarily spell bad news."

"But disappearances can," I retorted.

Ino placed her hand on my shoulder. "If you're really that concerned we can talk to Tsunade-sensei. In the very least he would've told her something."

Sasuke placed his tray next to Sakura's and sat to her left. "Maybe I can finally eat in peace."

"Naruto bothering you again?" Ino sighed. "If he bothers you that much why are you even friends with him?"

"He and Naruto have been friends since they were toddlers," Sakura said. "Please, if you separate those two they'll have separation anxiety."

"If he bothers me I'll throw you to the wolf," Sasuke said to me. I blushed a bit.

"Hey, you bastard," Naruto said, slapping Sasuke's back as if on cue.

Sasuke wolfed down his sandwich and stood up to leave. "Hinata has something to ask you." I gave him the death glare until he left.

_Oh, god he's looking at me. You know, maybe it is time. I've been playing games for a decade now. I feel my heart racing. Blood flushing my cheeks. It's now or never. Damn my indecisiveness and procrastination!_

"I need you to kill someone." Naruto cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh Hinata, you kidder!" Sakura said, patting me on my shoulder. "As you were, Naruto. Hinata, a word please?"

A few minutes she dragged me into the hall. "I know Sasuke's an ass, but he just made more progress in one minute than you have in years." I slowly nodded. "He's really trying to help. If you don't make a move he's going to slip away an you'll be an old maid regretting the decision."

Tears swelled in my eyes. "Oh shit," Sakura muttered. "I'm trying to help you too. I am your friend." She offered a hug that I quickly accept.

"Kiss, kiss," Sasuke whispered in my ear.

"You're an asshole!" I roared, socking him the gut. Wind escaped his lungs as I stormed off.

"I'll have to agree with her," Sakura said, glaring at Sasuke. "It's not your call. It's not your life. And your comment was inappropriate to boot."

"She has a mean hook," Sasuke muttered between coughs. "Remind me not to get on her bad side again."

Sakura turned her back on him and crossed her arms. "You deserved it." Sasuke grimaced and left.

I escaped to the roof, nursing my eyes with a tissue. I don't even know why this is upsetting me so much. "Sasuke has a point."

"I try as much." I turned around to see Sasuke there.

I glared at him. "What do you want? Want to schedule my pregnancy?"

Sasuke sighed. "I didn't think that it would backfire so badly. I was just trying to make a joke."

"Is my life a joke to you? Are my feelings just a joke to you? Sakura might be able to get away with that, but she is my friend. We have that relationship. I don't with you. How do you get off with making that kind of joke?!"

"Alright, alright. I was an asshole. I stepped out of bounds. Sorry." He dug in his pockets and offered me a package of tissues. I gingerly accepted them.

"We're late for class," Sasuke said, checking his watch. "Are you going to be okay?"

I nodded. Sasuke started to leave for class. "Thanks." He waved back.


	12. Super Sonic Death Flower

CHAPTER TWELVE

Super Sonic Death Flower

I closed my purple and red diary. I don't write in it as often as I used to nor about every little thing that had happened in my life. It is just soothing to have something to pour your emotions into.

A knock coming from my window jolted me out of my private thoughts. I immediately fell off my chair with a heart attack at the sight of a familiar and scary redhead.

"Let me in," Tayuya said, motioning me to open the window.

I gulped my fear and went to the window. _Alright, you're going to tell her to leave or you're calling the police,_ I braced myself. My resolve was quickly shattered when she just squeezed past me.

Tayuya looked around my room. Her gaze went from my closet at the far left corner, my dressers and vanity to her right, my desk to her left. Too bad my timidity had a firm grip on me. "W-w-what do you want?" I managed to squeak out.

She ignored me. "I expected your room to be full of lace and teddy bears."

"That doesn't answer—"

"I just need to hide out here for a few days."

I almost suffered my second heart attack of the day. "What makes you think you can do that here? Are the police after you?"

Tayuya turned around and gave me a one hundred percent perplexed look. "What makes you think it's the police?" I could feel my cheeks turning red from a mixture of embarrassment and fear. She took a few steps toward me and brushed my cheek with her hand. "You're just too precious," she cooed.

I tensed up at her touch. A million and one thoughts raced through my mind, all of which could not end well.

A knock on my door interrupted her. _Please don't let it be Dad or Neji, _I kept repeating in my head over and over.

"Just answer the door," Tayuya whispered in my ear, surprisingly soothing my nerves. Wait a minute, wrong reaction!

Tayuya hopped in my closet and I opened the door. _What a relief, it's just Hanabi._ I sighed with relief. "Yes?"

Hanabi just gave me a weird look. She must know something was up. "Dad's leaving."

"I'll be right there." I then closed the door and opened the closet door. "Don't do anything." With that I made my way to the front door.

Neji and Hanabi were already there. My father is not a strict man, but whenever he went on a business trip longer than a couple of days he would like to reenact the scene of when Mr. von Trapp called his children to meet their new governess in _The Sound of Music._ Thankfully he didn't conduct it as if we were in the military or anything, but it was the similar basic idea. I don't know why it was always the same—Neji or I were in charge of the household and Hanabi was our charge. For the three of us personally it was "do whatever you want but be home by dinner."

This time it was different. Neji had decided to stay at Tenten's house. The same "Hanabi listen to your sister" rule still applied, but Hanabi knew how lax I was as long as the police don't come knocking.

"Be good and I'll be back in a week." He was never big on mushy goodbyes. Per usual he was chauffeured off to the airport where his company's private jet was ready to leave for Kirigakure.

"Well, I, uh, got homework to do," I excused myself and went upstairs back to my room. I didn't need eyes on the back of my head to know that Hanabi was giving me a disbelieving glare.

I discovered that Tayuya had changed into a different set of clothes—my clothes. "What are you doing?" I hissed through my teeth.

Tayuya was tugging on random parts of my lavender long sleeve t-shirt and blue jeans. "Well, most everything fits me rather well except for the bra."

_That tears it!_ "Why don't you ever leave me alone?" I was trying to be mindful enough not to yell but she was already testing my patience.

Tayuya shrugged. "I find you interesting. I'll just need to stay with you until Wednesday."

"That's five days, not a few," I remarked. "Where will you even sleep?"

A corner of her mouth went up into a half smile. "I can't sleep with you?" My face went beet red. "Alright, alright. Do you have a futon?"

"What if the rest of my family finds you?"

"Then just leave it to me. I'm good at spinning yarn."

_Especially with the police, I bet._

"You're not…" My face turned crimson yet again. "You're not going to do _anything_ are you?"

The redhead held up her right hand as if she was a cub scout. "I hereby promise that I won't try anything to you, nonconsensually." My eyebrows slightly furrowed because it sounded like she hadn't meant it.

My mind spent the rest of the evening racing in fifty different directions. I allowed Hanabi to order out whatever she wanted, and while she was distracted I got an extra futon from the attic. Tayuya seemed preoccupied with her iphone. It wasn't until I had tucked myself in for the night when I thought of something important.

"What are you going to do for a shower?" I asked in the dark of night.

Tayuya was lying on top of the futon on the right side, still wearing the clothes that she had changed into and still playing with her phone. "I'd just wait until your sister was out of the house for school or something."

"Tomorrow's Saturday," I reminded her.

I turned over in my bed. How am I going to explain this to Hanabi? Oh God, will she get the wrong idea? I'll figure it out in the morning.

"_What did you say?" I asked. Everywhere I looked was black—there was no floor, no walls, no ceiling, nothing. There was a featureless black person in front of me._

_Then a pure white smile stretched across his face. "I can't be with you," he repeated. His voice sounded really familiar._

"_Why not?" A pang struck my heart._

"_You're batting for the other team, aren't you?"_

I woke up gasping for air and choking on spit. Then I remembered my dream. _Oh God!_ "Well, at least that was a dream…a horrible, _horrible_ dream." I glanced over at my alarm clock and it told me that it was almost noon. Stretching I made my way downstairs, my mind set on getting something to drink.

"Hey, nee-chan."

"Hey, Hinata."

I stopped dead in my tracks. In the living room were Hanabi and Tayuya playing cards. My jaw almost went through the floor. "What are you doing?!"

"Playing poker," Tayuya calmly replied, her gaze never leaving her hand. Then she pulled out a huge roll of money and threw down a few bills. "I raise sixty."

Not even one day and already she's corrupting my sister! "Why gambling?"

"Why hide a woman in your room?" Hanabi glanced over her cards and squinted at me. "Very suspicious."

Apparently my dream was a precog. "It's not what you think."

"Why so offensive? Oh, I meet your bet and raise another ten. It's the twenty-first century. No need to get flustered."

"What. Did. You. Tell. Her?" I gritted through my teeth.

"That I was shacking up with you for a week." She plopped her hand onto the pot. "I believe the money belongs to me."

Hanabi rolled her eyes and threw her cards down. "Like I was going get to keep it anyway."

"Oh my god" was the only thing I could muster to say. I sat down at the kitchen table with a glass of milk. A minute later my sister joined me.

"I was only kidding," she stated matter-of-factly. "She promised me twenty bucks."

"Nice to know harassing me is paying off for you." I tapped my fingertips on the table in annoyance and tried to stare a hole into the wall in front of me. A bill landed on my arm.

"I can keep quiet." Then Hanabi left. I sighed deeply. This was going to be interesting, in the best of cases.

**~X~**

The soft sound of thunder rolled through the sky. It was raining, again. What most people would call a con was actually a pro—it put this blue-haired woman sleep without fail. However there was someone missing next to her. Rolling herself out of bed she made an all-too-familiar trek to the outside balcony. There, in the rain, sat a man in nothing but sweatpants and piercings.

"You're going to catch you death out here," she said, leaning on the cement wall of their apartment.

"Go back to sleep, Konan," he said, staring out into the darkness.

"And let my body pillow get dirtied in the rain?" Konan sighed. "He isn't coming back, you know."

"What makes you think I'm thinking of him?"

"Little things, like the fact that he's been the only father-figure we've ever had, and that it's the anniversary of the day he left."

"I'm just sitting here."

Konan walked over to him and curled up on his lap. "Then I'll just sit here, too."

"You're a stubborn woman," he sighed.

"So are you, Yahiko." She planed a kiss on his chin. "I learn from the best."

**~X~**

Thankfully the rest of Saturday and Sunday went by without much incident. Tayuya and Hanabi had grown close, oddly enough. Tayuya spent most of the day doing Lord knows what and crashing in the living room, I made sure of that. I slumped down into my chair at school. I never thought in a million years that I'd actually be here in order to escape life.

"Rough weekend?" Sakura asked. I slowly nodded. "Want to meet at the usual place after school?" Then I felt her finger pulling back my shirt collar. "Is…Is that what I think it is?" Grabbing me by the arm we left the classroom and she forced me into the bathroom.

"What? What?" I asked in bewilderment.

She sudsed up a napkin, pulled back my collar, and scrubbed the nape of my neck. Well, this is taking "playing house" a bit too literal. "What? What happened?"

Sakura huffed and patted me on my shoulder, giving up. "Congratulations on your first hickey, you naughty girl," she joked.

"I'm going to kill her," I said.

Sakura's face went from happy to confused. "Her?"

Oops. "Forget I said anything."

I tried to leave but Sakura blocked my way. "They don't just appear, Hinata. I had no idea…"

_That tears it!_ I instantly pulled out my cellphone and dialed Tayuya's number.

"_Hello?"_

"What's on the back of my neck?"

I heard chuckling at the other end of the line. _"A memento of what a great time I had last night."_ An aneurysm was surely ready to explode in my brain to kill me, and quite frankly I was hoping that. _"Just kidding. It's a special marker. Get some nail polish remover and it'll go away. You're such a joy to tease."_ Thankfully she hung up before I could strangle her over the phone.

"Heheh, Hanabi's a real joker." Hopefully Sakura will buy that.

**~X~**

Tayuya pulled out a cigarette and took a puff. She leaned against a brick wall, ironically underneath a "no smoking" sign. She looked at her watch. There was still time for a smoke.

"There's no smoking on school grounds," Kakashi, who happened to be leaving, stated.

They locked eyes at each other, probably sizing each other up. With a grunt she stabbed the cigarette on the wall.

Kakashi (or rather his eyes) smiled. "Thank you, ma'am." Then he left.

Tayuya clicked her tongue, and as soon as Kakashi was out of eyesight lit her cigarette again.

"_Tayu!" a small girl with long black hair cheered, running up to a younger version of Tayuya._

"_I told you not to call me that!" Tayuya rolled her eyes._

"_You wanna hang out later?" the girl replied, her face beamed with a bright smile._

"_I gotta roll the second the taskmasters release us," Tayuya replied. The smile faded._

Tayuya flicked her forehead. Turning to leave she muttered, "I hate schools."

**~X~**

I sipped my root beer. Sakura, Ino, and I spend a lot of time in this restaurant. It's not the best, but it's a popular hangout nonetheless. I sighed.

"You alright, Hinata?" Ino asked, genuinely sounding worried.

"No," Hinata said. Well, that was partially true. At least Tayuya wasn't as bad as I thought she would be. "I'm sorry. I have to go to the bathroom," I excused myself.

I splashed some water on my face. I fucking hate my life. Don't get me wrong. I would rather keep on living. But do I really want to spend the rest of my life just watching that familiar blonde back of the head? It seems like everyone else has a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I don't like being left out. Is this indirect peer pressure or do I really want a relationship? I don't need my life to be uber-exciting or anything. I exhaled deeply. This isn't going to be easy for me, is it?

I heard a bathroom stall open behind me. No big deal. However I then felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked to my left. There was a woman with long black hair and camouflage pants. I gulped.

"I need to ask a favor from you, lilac-eyes," she said, her voice dripped with malice and her hand gripped my shoulder tighter.

**A/N:**** I know it's been forever and an eon since the last time I updated this fic. I've fallen in and out of interest and I had to write this chapter twice over with two different concepts. However, I would like this put this on a fast course to being freaking down now. It's been four years and that's way too long for me. I've read some romance/comedy manga so hopefully that has provided enough inspiration for me to keep on writing. Thank you for the support.**


	13. Silence From Afar

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Silence From Afar

The next thing I knew was that I was in what looked like an abandoned building. I wasn't hit unconscious or anything. I was led out of the restaurant in such a way that my friends wouldn't notice. The woman who abducted me seemed rather familiar. For the last twenty minutes she had been pacing in front of me mumbling and shooting mean looks at me. All I could do at the moment was sit on the dirt in my school uniform.

"What do you want with me?" I don't know what I'm here for, but showing fear would not help.

"You have taken Tayu—uh, Tayuya and I want her back," the woman said curtly.

I stared at her all wide-eyed. Don't tell me she got the wrong impression as well. "There's nothing going on between me and Tayuya."

She grabbed my collar and I flinched. "Don't bullshit me! I know she's been at your house. She has never done that."

I couldn't help but let some fear show up on my face. "There's nothing! I swear!"

She released her grip and I sat back onto the dirt. Then she continued her pacing while nibbling on her thumb.

Something came into my mind. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"You spilled a beer on Tayuya then your boyfriend threw her into a porterjohn." She seemed to calm down a little then. I couldn't help but feel flustered at the mention of Naruto as my boyfriend.

_Keep your head on straight, _I mentally reprimanded myself.

"You already have a boyfriend," the woman said, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Why would you want a girlfriend for?"

"He's not my boyfriend," I replied, my face red with color. "I'm not interested in getting a girlfriend. So I don't understand why—" A wild epiphany appeared. "A-are you jealous?"

The woman stopped in her tracks and this time her face was red. "Your name is Kin, right? Do you love Tayuya?" I prodded.

"Sh-shut up!" she yelled, kicking the dirt next to me. I didn't take that seriously.

"Why are you angry? Didn't you know she was seeing other women?"

"She didn't come back!" Kin yelled. She sank down on her knees. "She has never left for this long before. I haven't seen her in a month and I just wanted to know where she was…" Tears began to roll down her cheeks.

Okay, so Tayuya left a month ago and invaded my home about half a week ago. Kin, for whatever reason, didn't want to confront Tayuya herself so she kidnapped me. Why I was here still didn't make any sense, but maybe I could help Kin out.

**~xXx~**

"I lost!" Tayuya huffed, throwing her cards onto the kitchen table.

Hanabi didn't look all that amused. "I can't keep any of your money. I don't know why you're pissed."

"Alright, let's play strip poker," Tayuya suggested.

"I don't think Nee-sama would like that," Hanabi replied.

The phone rang and Hanabi left to get it.

"I wasn't serious," Tayuya called out.

"Nee-sama called," Hanabi said, returning to her seat. "Apparently one of your friends wants to meet you."

Tayuya froze. Not many people would have the balls to call her for anything, especially not at this time. "Where did she say she was?"

**~xXx~**

Naruto walked down the street with his nose buried deep in a grocery list that Jiraiya had sent him on. He scratched his head. "I don't know why Pervy Sage keeps putting alcohol on this. I can't buy it!" Out of the corner of his eye he saw bright red hair. Upon closer inspection he realized that it was the woman that attacked Hinata at the concert.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted, waving his hand to get her attention.

Tayuya stopped and made a beeline to Naruto. He hadn't expected this, but then again what else was he going to get after getting the attention of the woman?

"Do you know Hinata?" she asked.

_Okay, so she didn't remember me, _Naruto thought. "Yeah?"

"Good, I need you," Tayuya said, grabbed him by the arm, and started to lead him in the direction she was going in.

"What's wrong?" She obviously didn't want to finish what they started the last time they met.

"Some of my _friends_ have Hinata," Tayuya tersely said.

Naruto was on edge. "Is she going to be alright?"

"She called her house and Hanabi didn't say anything unusual, but that all depends on which one of my _friends_ have her." Tayuya's grip around Naruto's wrist tightened.

**~xXx~**

"They must be here," Tayuya muttered. They were at the warehouse. Yes, _that_ warehouse.

"What would your friends want with Hinata?" Naruto asked. He'd been lead by the wrist to some warehouse without an explanation.

"Can you fight?" Naruto looked clueless. "You know, fist fight?" Tayuya reiterated.

"I…guess?" Naruto replied. "Why would I?"

"A few weeks ago I had a falling out with some of the people I hung around with," Tayuya began. "Since last week I crashed at Hinata's place. They want me so they have Hinata to draw me out." Tayuya grasped at a rusty door handle. "Are you ready?"

Naruto nodded. This still made no sense. Slowly they entered the warehouse. "Okay, this is how it's going to go…."

**~xXx~**

Kin still paced in front of me. She looked pretty nervous. She probably never thought of anything past kidnapping me. "When can I go home?"

"I don't know," Kin mumbled. The atmosphere became still.

"Hey, Hinata!" a familiar voice called. My heart stopped beating for a split second. I stood up and turned around.

"N-Naruto?" I asked. "What are you doing here?"

Before he could answer Kin stood in front of me. "Who the hell are you?"

"That would be my question," Naruto calmly spoke. Even though he looked calm I could tell that he was nervous as hell. What on Earth could he possibly be doing?

Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and I heard someone hush softly in my ear. The hand pulled me farther from Kin. It was then I realized that it was Tayuya. Kin must've sensed something wrong because she began to turn around. Before she had much of a chance to Tayuya violently grabbed her by the neck with one hand. Kin roared in pain before she was pushed to the ground.

"T-Tayu?" Kin asked as Tayuya towered over her. I had never seen a woman reduced to a toddler.

Tayuya glared at her. "I never would have thought that you would do something like this. I was expecting Jiroubou or that Sakon freak. I never thought that you would commit a felony."

Kin looked scared and confused out of her mind. She began to say things but they all reduced to gibberish. Tayuya stood above her with her arms crossed, as if she was waiting for a damned good explanation.

"Are you hurt, Hinata?" Naruto asked me.

My still heart fluttered. Oh, if this had been a different circumstance! "I-I think I'm fine." I looked back over at Kin. "Why didn't you tell her that you were going away?"

Kin shielded her face, as if she was expecting to be hit again.

"I saw something that I shouldn't have," Tayuya said, not taking her eyes off Kin.

"How bad could it have been? You should be used to breaking the law, right?" I immediately covered my mouth. How could I have been so stupid and just blurted that out?

Tayuya didn't seem offended. "You're right about that, but even I have limits. I've mugged people and broke into their homes. We were robbing a house when a man caught us." Tayuya suddenly tensed up. "And Sakon killed him."

The room became deadly silent. None of us had expected to hear that.

"Then what the hell are you doing here?" Naruto asked. "Shouldn't you go to the police in your country?"

"There aren't any," Tayuya said. Then she dryly chuckled. "What you would call 'police' is a joke. I later found out that the guy was from Konoha, probably visiting family there. Itachi said that he could help."

This was just too surreal. She had been on the run for almost a month until she stopped at my place. I guess those days she was gone she was at the police department.

"Hey, blondie," Tayuya said. She must've meant Naruto. "Take her back home. I have to deal with this." Gently Naruto took me by the shoulder and led me out. Tayuya just stood there, waiting for us to leave.

Naruto silently walked me home. Yeah, I couldn't believe it myself, but there were more serious issues. As soon as we reached my gate he left. I wanted to at least thank him, but he was gone before I could say anything. After I changed my dirty clothes and took a shower I passed out on my bed.

**~xXx~**

The next morning I woke up as if nothing had happened. Not that I was brushing anything aside, but I guess in the end it was more or less solved so it didn't matter. Tayuya wasn't in the sleeping bag on the floor. Her phone was there, but I'm sure that was the least of her worries. Groggily I dragged my feet to the bathroom door.

"Hanabi," I croaked, knocking on the door. "Hurry up, please?" There was no answer, but I was sure she heard me.

It sure surprised the hell out of me when the door opened and Kin was standing there wet with a towel wrapped around her. Without a word she slipped down the hall. I was too surprised to care where.

After I did my business I went to the kitchen and sure enough Tayuya was there rummaging through my fridge.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

She took out a carton of orange juice and popped it open. "What, I'm not welcome here?"

"That's not what I meant," I pressed her.

She took a moment to drink from the carton. "Kin is going to behave from now on. I'm taking Itachi on his suggestion of relocating somewhere safer. He is going to be here this morning." She put the carton away and walked toward me. "I'm going to miss you," she said, pulling me into a hug.

I was flabbergasted. "W-w-w-what? What about Kin?"

"Oh, she's coming with me," Tayuya answered. "But I need to give you a proper reward for putting up with my bullshit for the last week."

Oh God. "I don't quite swing that—" Tayuya interrupted me by kissing me on the cheek.

"You're so sweet," Tayuya hummed. I didn't know what was scarier, angry Tayuya or feminine Tayuya. "You want some of this, Kin?"

I almost had an accident. Kin was standing in the doorway with a peeved look. Apparently she managed to get herself dressed.

"Itachi is here, Tayu," Kin simply stated. Tayuya gave me one final squeeze and followed Kin outside.

At the door there were a few bags of stuff. Kin must've packed them up. Boy, she was quick! They grabbed them and walked outside to where Itachi and Orochimaru were waiting at the gate.

"Tayuya!" Orochimaru greeted. "How are you, dear? Kin, you're coming as well?"

"Yes," Kin stated. I don't blame her for being so curt with him. He is a very creepy person.

"You'll meet with the D.A. later in the afternoon," Itachi said, ushering them into the SUV. Before Tayuya went in she turned to see me and made a rude gesture that would get this author in trouble with this website.

**~xXx~**

**A/N: This will probably be the last chapter I'll write. As this story dragged on and on without a coherent plot whatsoever, I grew tired of this fic and tired of Naruto in general. Naruto and NaruHina will always hold a special place in my heart, but I have to put this fic on indefinite hiatus, at least. I'm sorry for stringing you for the past four years.**


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